How do you stay resilient in hard times?
I have no idea. Right now I feel about as resilient as a paper bag that’s been left out in the rain. I am trying to hold onto the “every day with Louis Catorze is a bonus” type of mentality, but it’s not easy when things seem deliberately engineered to be unhelpful.
This is the latest weapon in my Catorzian armoury:
Mesdames et Messieurs, this is a device that cuts pills into quarters. I had to resort to this because my own efforts to quarter Catorze’s heart pills have been disastrous, and all I seem to be able to produce are irregular shards and a load of dust.
This device worked ok … until it didn’t. For whatever reason, it just inexplicably stopped cutting into quarters and now only cuts into halves. I can’t possibly have pressed the wrong button (there is only one, and that’s the “cut” button), nor inadvertently changed the settings (there aren’t any), yet here we are.
So, for now, I am back to using a paring knife to cut manually. And it has helped to follow my friend Phil’s advice for cutting pills more cleanly: if there is a line hewn into the tablet, first cut ACROSS that line to make halves, then ALONG the line to make quarters. It shouldn’t work, but it does.
Meanwhile, Catorze is not giving even the square root of a shit about all the complex processes required to keep him alive. And that is just as it should be.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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