I’ve been doing facial massage for a few months, and I know most of my exercises by heart. However, I have recently started a new set with a new practitioner, so I needed the instructional video to know what I was doing. And, regretfully, the moment that I chose to watch the video coincided with the moment that Louis Catorze decided to [I don’t know what to say here because I still don’t have any words for what he did].
Throughout the video he bounced around, screaming and screaming. At one point he lay across me, with his belly splodging across my phone so that I couldn’t see the screen, which wasn’t very helpful but at least he appeared to have ceased his [whatever it was].
Then a fly entered the room and the whole débâcle started again, this time with additional sound effects from his claws slapping and scraping on the walls as he repeatedly swiped at this fly.
The fifteen-minute video was supposed to be a relaxing, tension-releasing experience. Catorze did his utmost to ensure that it was anything but. In fact, I was probably more tense afterwards than before.
I have a live video call booked for tomorrow, with both the practitioner and (oh dear God) OTHER PEOPLE. We all know what Catorze is like with video calls (and, in fact, he probably thought this was one, and was trying to sabotage it), so I don’t hold out much hope for it going well. At least, not unless Cat Daddy and I can build that lead-lined underground vault by tomorrow night.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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