What is the last thing you learned?
Cat Daddy and I know that Louis Catorze is tiny. We’ve always known this. But, over the years, the little sod has mind-controlled us into using him as the benchmark for how all cats ought to be. And, recently, it has dawned on us just how much his freakishly small stature has skewed our world view on cat size.
We have just visited a dear friend in North Yorkshire, who has six cats. These were our reactions to each of them:
Harley and Hendrix, the tux and cow-cat: “Rangy, meaty boys!” It turns out that they’re not. Harley is 4.1kg and Hendrix, 5kg, making them Normal Cats.
Their sister Snoodle was a little shy and spent much of our visit under cover, so it was quite difficult to see exactly how big she was. But when she dashed out from under one blanket to seek a second hiding place beneath another, we gasped, “She’s quite a meaty girl!” Nope. 5kg makes her also a Normal Cat.
Ponder, the gigantic tabby: “Oof! What a hefty beast!” At 6.7kg, despite being over double Catorze’s weight, he is still a Normal Cat, albeit at the upper end of the range.
Marigold and Treacle: “Ahh! Normal cats!” Well, yes and no. Both are at the lower end of the weight spectrum, at 3.5kg and 3.1kg respectively but, being older ladies with health issues, this is about right for them. Conclusion: Normal Cats.
So it turns out that Catorze, who was 2.92kg at his last vet visit, is the only one who isn’t a Normal Cat.
I know. It’s shocking news. Please sit down and take some time to absorb this.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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