What was the last live performance you saw?
It’s funny you should ask, WordPress, because it took place just last night. And what a performance it was.
In the same way that nature abhors a vacuum, Louis Catorze cannot abide a closed door.
Cat Daddy had an online meeting yesterday evening, with a local business for whom he is on the Board of Trustees. He shut himself in the living room in order to conduct this meeting which, naturellement, triggered Catorze’s Urge To Mess Things Up switch. The little sod appeared from wherever he was in the garden, stationed himself outside the closed door and screamed and screamed.
I was trying to watch the football and make madeleines as a farewell gift for my Year 11 students, whose last French lesson is today. I wasn’t really concentrating on what Catorze was doing … until it suddenly dawned on me that he had been screaming non-stop for twenty minutes.
I wondered if, perhaps, he was thirsty, so I let him into the front room. Within seconds, the door opened again and an angry hand flicked him back out again. Cat Daddy told me later that Catorze hadn’t even approached his water; instead, he had just circled the coffee table, screaming bloody murder, then jumped onto his lap to scream some more, into the camera.
None of the meeting attendees said a word about it, and all continued as if nothing had happened.
After a further few minutes, Catorze came to the kitchen to have a snack. I had hoped he’d tired of his screaming but, no, the snack was just to fuel himself for more. Then back he went, and the screaming resumed.
There wasn’t much I could do about this. Because our ground floor is quite open plan, there was nowhere that I could detain Catorze (unless I put him in the dining room, which was too high-risk with fragile glassware, containers of kombucha brewing, and so on). Plus surely not even he would have the energy or the inclination to scream all the way through until the end of the call?
He did. And, once the call was over, he no longer wanted to go into that room.
Here is just a small taste of what we had to endure that evening, for THIRTY MINUTES:
Cat Daddy, much later: “Louis, you were an absolute disgrace.”
Catorze: “Mwah!”
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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