As you are aware, Louis Catorze is visibly more unhinged than usual when it’s a full moon, so much so that I don’t even need to check my moon phase app; his behaviour is enough of an indicator.
Last night we had a Blue Supermoon. I don’t understand what one is exactly, but that’s irrelevant; all that matters is that Catorze knew it was time to go apeshit. And the fact that we had a friend over for dinner made it even better/worse, depending on how you look at it; extra audience members only ramp up the embarrassment factor and make it more for fun (for him, not for us).
Catorze greeted my friend upon arrival, as every good host should.
Her: “Ahhh! Louis!”
Me: “He’s been annoying the shit out of me lately.”
Her: “Why, what’s he been doing?”
Catorze: “MWAAAAHHHHH!”
Her: “Oh.”
And that was it; the scream demon was unleashed. As my friend is also a teacher I asked her opinion on some work I’d prepared for a class next year, including listening to a recording, and Catorze screamed through that, too. Then, as we ate our dinner outside, he jumped onto the fence and onto That Neighbour’s roof, pitter-pattering across their skylight and screaming himself witless.
All the while I was eating furiously, thinking that the sooner we could finish, the sooner we could go indoors.
After tiring of trying to rouse That Neighbour, Catorze decided to start walking on our awning. He walked around and around in aimless circles, making the fabric bulge with paw-shaped indentations, and then it dawned on us that he was stuck and didn’t know how to get down.
Cat Daddy went the bathroom, with the intention of corralling the little sod through the open window. However, after a few minutes he returned, catless, and told us that Catorze had approached the window, almost come in, but then changed his mind and returned to walking aimless, screaming circles on the roof and awning again.
There was absolutely nothing we could do, so we just left him to it and hoped he would just figure out that the bathroom window was his only way in. However, when it was time for pudding, there was no sign of him at all. We called him, unable to hear a response or see him on the awning, but also not quite daring to retract the awning in case he ended up rolled up inside like a layer of jam inside a Swiss roll*.
*Younger followers: ask your British friends in their forties. Don’t ask your Swiss friends because they won’t know what you are talking about.
We came indoors to eat our pudding in the front room, as it had turned quite chilly outside. There we found Catorze, sitting happily, having heard us calling and searching yet not bothered to do anything about it.
Just before 11pm, I drove my friend to the station. As soon as I returned, Catorze escaped out at The Front.
Cat Daddy: “He’s all over the place. Do you think it’s the full moon?”
The moon is actually the least terrifying explanation. I dread to think that it’s alien intervention, demonic possession or, worst of all, that THIS IS JUST WHAT MY CAT IS LIKE.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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