louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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about
Month: Apr 2024
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There lives a certain cat in TW8He is small and black, and he looks a total stateMost people look at him with terror and with fearAnd Ocado drivers all know to stay well clearHe can scream his guts out like he’s dyingEven when there’s nothing wrong We can’t shut him up though we keep tryingSo…
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Yesterday we finally met Louis Catorze’s cat-cousins, Rodan and Mothra. And it turns out that one of them is a lot more troublesome than the other. Do you think it’s the tabby, or the Chat Noir? Now, take your time to think about this. Rodan is a complete scoundrel. Here are just a few of…
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It’s Beltane Eve in a few days’ time, and this day is known in Celtic folklore for the activity of otherworldly beings. Louis Catorze’s fourteenth birthday is on the same day, and this year he will be turning fourteen. I have always known that Catorze is not of this world. Last month I posted a…
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Oh. Mon. Dieu. Please help us. Louis Catorze just won’t stop screaming. It’s absolutely awful and we don’t know what to do. Yesterday I came home to find that someone had taken away his new Versailles glass put his old, ugly, calcified water tumbler back. I thought the cleaning lady had done it, but it…
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Merde, merde and thrice merde: Louis Catorze’s fancy drinking glasses aren’t working. For reasons that I cannot fathom – and, having observed him drinking, I am none the wiser – he spills water everywhere when using them. He never did this from his previous straight-up-and-down glass. Cat Daddy was convinced that a funnel shape and…
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Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind. Louis Catorze loves the rain. Usually, when it starts raining, he races out to sit in it. However, he is highly displeased right now because, although he loves the rain, he doesn’t happen to like THIS rain, TODAY. And he would very much like us…
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I have just been screamed at whilst making, and eating, a tuna mayonnaise sandwich. I don’t know where Louis Catorze was when I started making it but, as soon as I opened the can of tuna, it flushed him out of his mystery hiding place place and the noise started. And it went on. And…
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I have bought Louis Catorze two new water glasses for his birthday. I wanted a spare one for when the other was in the dishwasher, and I chose two different styles from the same range because I didn’t know which one Catorze would like better. (You’d think all glasses would be created equal, right? But,…
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Taking a cat to the vet: always an adventure, but never the good kind. On the morning of our steroid shot appointment, Louis Catorze was nowhere to be found. Cat Daddy eventually found him in the guest bedroom, asleep on the autumn/winter duvet and, just as he tried to grab him, the little sod darted…
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Louis Catorze’s body clock is completely up the spout. He is unhungry in the morning, remaining so all day, as if he has forgotten that food is even a thing. Then, as soon as the sun sets, that’s when he wants to eat. In fact, a few days ago, we knew that it was EXACTLY…
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What’s the most fun way to exercise? Louis Catorze is a senior gentleman, so much of his time is spent not doing a great deal. However, he is able to commit himself to sport when he feels like it, and these are some of the ones that he likes: However, Catorze’s favourite sport of them…
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And there I was berating kittens for being massive shites when I, of all people, ought to know that they don’t get much better when they grow up. I wasn’t able to exercise much last week because of my cold, so I was looking forward to my first walk in ages with my walking friend,…
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What animals make the best/worst pets? I don’t know enough about all the different animals in the world to know which are the best pets. But kittens are the worst, without a doubt. I can’t deny that my sister’s new kittens, Mothra and Rodan, are cute. But then all psychopaths have an initial superficial charm,…
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I have a cold, and it’s the awful kind that keeps you awake at night with the sweats and the dribbles (sorry if this is too much information). If you know anyone who has ever worked in a school, you will know that it’s practically the law for staff to fall ill during the school…
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