Louis Catorze is continuing to enjoy his mix of wet and dry food. However, he still expects the wet food, which is already in small pieces, to be cut up into EVEN SMALLER pieces for him. If we don’t do it he just leaves the food to go dry and gross, and this makes it much harder to clean the bowl.

(And, no, I have no idea how it is that he manages to rip the heads off rodents, yet he can’t bite into a small, soft piece of cooked fish unless humans cut it up for him.)

With this in mind, one of my friends sent Catorze some antique Louis XIV silverware (yes, SILVERWARE, not “cutlery” – merci, Google, for correcting me). What an unbelievably lucky Roi he is.

Oh. Mon. Dieu. Merci, Cathie!

Cat Daddy’s initial reaction: “What the f***? What is wrong with your friends?”

Cat Daddy’s follow-up reaction, upon discovering that Louis XIV silverware is a real thing and not something that I made up: “Ooh. That must be worth a bit!”

Naturellement, being special silverware, we can’t just sling it into the dishwasher alongside our own plebby stainless steel. Care instructions are as follows:

Separate the Metals

Never wash silver-plated flatware with stainless-steel flatware in the same dishwasher load. The silver and stainless steel chemically react in the presence of automatic dish-washing detergent, causing silver ions to disassociate from the silver plate and transfer to the stainless steel. This leaves pits on the silver plate and may cause spotting of the stainless steel, especially if the metals are touching each other.

Safe Way To Clean

Hand washing with a mild dish-washing liquid is the safest way to clean silver-plated flatware. Wash the flatware in hot sudsy water right after the meal is done. Rinse them with cool tap water and immediately dry with a clean, soft cloth.

Oh dear. Cat Daddy was already unhappy about how much hard work it is to wet-feed the little sod, with the cutting of the food and the frequent bowl changes, so he was not pleased at all to learn that we now need to hand-wash Catorze’s antique silverware. The Unrepeatable Expletives rang out through the air on that fine morn like the chimes of Big Ben on New Year’s Eve (except going on for considerably longer).

Sitting in proud admiration of himself, knowing that he deserves decent serving implements.

Here I am (below), having just used antique Louis XIV silverware to mash up already-soft Cool Cat Club cod and salmon pâté on Catorze’s Necoichi tilted stress-free (I’m not joking; it really is called that) cat bowl, adding a garnish of Orijen. Meanwhile, I am eating cheese on toast from a chipped Wilko* plate.

How did it come to this?

*Fancy followers: ask your more downmarket friends.

Marcus Wareing would be so impressed with this presentation.
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53 responses to “L’argenterie royale”

  1. Lou Carreras avatar

    H.I.M. Xenia is furious with jealousy that her humans have failed to get something similar for her!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Oh dear! This was always going to happen, wasn’t it? Better get to it and get internetting; you may just about be able to save yourselves.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Kate Crimmins avatar

    That is a great picture of him!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      It just oozes arrogance, doesn’t it?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Kate Crimmins avatar

        Yes it does. Emperor of his realm!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          He has the opposite of Impostor Syndrome!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. catladymac avatar
    catladymac

    Well, if any aspiring thieves read Louis’s blog there may not be a problem with the silverware much longer….On the other hand, Catorze appears to be on watch.

    PS Is there any chance that it would actually fall to CD to wash said siverware?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      You make a very good point. It’s far more likely that I’ll be the one to wash it, so I might get away with not saying anything?

      Like

  4. Feline Opines avatar

    Oh my whiskers! The Tribe here is absolutely over the moon about this special silverware. You should see the scroungy, cheap Pier One fork The Human uses to serve us our wet food. Clearly there is a lack of proper service in our home. We have told her to read this post and then find suitable silverware with which to feed us. Good grief, does a cat have to take are of everything?

    BTW Louis, we loved the photo. You are quite pleased with yourself and with an expression suitable for royalty.
    Purrs & Head Bonks,
    Alberto, Oliver and Lily

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      I don’t know Pier One because we are in the U.K., but I bet it’s better than Wilco! But you are right that if you’re not getting the best of the best, the humans most likely need a nudge in the right direction …

      Liked by 2 people

      1. alicephilippa avatar
        alicephilippa

        I had a look at their online shop. They are definitely more upmarket than Wilko.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          Yes, Wilco is pretty low on the scale, isn’t it?

          Liked by 1 person

          1. alicephilippa avatar
            alicephilippa

            They are still better than Poundland, Poundstretcher, B&M, and Home Bargains. Which may not be saying a lot, but still.

            Liked by 2 people

            1. iamthesunking avatar
              iamthesunking

              I’ve never even heard of the last two!

              Liked by 1 person

            2. Sally Goodman avatar
              Sally Goodman

              I hadn’t heard of B&M either, until we moved north, but I have just discovered – today!! – that they have the cheapest Lik-e-lix in town 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

            3. iamthesunking avatar
              iamthesunking

              Don’t tell the cats you were looking for a bargain!

              Liked by 1 person

      2. Feline Opines avatar

        So true, and the constant nudging of The Human trying to get her to do the right thing (for us) is exhausting!
        Purrs & Head Bonks

        Liked by 1 person

  5. alicephilippa avatar
    alicephilippa

    Look on the bright side. Your plate isn’t from Poundland.

    Of course, you need a Louis XIV (style) knife too. Oh and teaspoon. He, naturellement, needs the complete set.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Wilco isn’t far off Poundland! 🤣🤣🤣

      Like

      1. alicephilippa avatar
        alicephilippa

        Have you seen the Poundland crockery?

        Liked by 1 person

  6. mmechapeau avatar

    Aren’t you afraid of the silverware having an adverse impact on Louis’s health?
    The care instructions we are shown are rather frightening, aren’t they?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      As in, making him sick? I hadn’t considered that. Is that even possible?

      Like

      1. mmechapeau avatar

        I don’t know.
        Actually, I was pulling your leg for I’m not an expert at the lap of luxury
        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          Neither am I! All our stuff is very ordinary. But of course he has the best.

          Like

          1. mmechapeau avatar

            It’s logical. Louis is a king. Therefore, he deserves the best.
            😺

            Liked by 2 people

            1. iamthesunking avatar
              iamthesunking

              Of course! Spoilt little sod!

              Liked by 1 person

          2. alicephilippa avatar
            alicephilippa

            I think that I better hide the Royal Stafford crockery then.

            Liked by 2 people

  7. Herman avatar
    Herman

    Louis only deserves the best so, antique Louis XIV silverware is a no brainer… 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      So, erm … when are you buying some for Jimi?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Herman avatar
        Herman

        Well… fresh North Sea shrimps every week… 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          That’s a good start. When is he getting his antique silverware?

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Herman avatar
            Herman

            … checking eBay right now!

            Liked by 2 people

            1. iamthesunking avatar
              iamthesunking

              As it should be. He has you with his mind control.

              Liked by 1 person

  8. Doug Thomas avatar

    I have yet to have a kitty that will eat chunks in gravy that they don’t eat the gravy and leave the chunks.

    Similarly, with one exception, they all require special treatment of the pâté style kitty food. I have to add a bit of water to the plate and mush the pâté into it. Next, an important step, is to microwave the food for seven seconds. Not six; never eight; seven precisely because they can tell!

    Finally, presentation.

    This varied from cat to cat, but the current kitty requires a floor show first, where we open cabinet doors in the kitchen so he can make his “mousie inspection tour”. There’ve never been any mouses here, a fact Andy the Perian must think has to do with his proficiency as a kitty.

    This show also requires lots of petting, scritching” the head and ears, and high praise the whole time – “What a fine ‘mousie’ catcher! You’re the best kitty, Andrew! Good boy!”

    After all this, I have to put out a few kitty treats before he checks out the plate of water-downed, microwaved pâté. If all presentation meets his high standards, he eats the pâté or leaves half of it to dry out or none of it to get really gross.

    I tell you this so you realize Louis Catorze is a gemme rare! It can be worse!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Good grief! That is quite the Herculean labour! I had no idea Monsieur André was so high maintenance. 😱😱😱

      Like

      1. Doug Thomas avatar

        LOL! He is indeed! “I’m a pedigree kitty, Mr. Doug, and I have high expectations of you if I am to be your cat!”

        Liked by 2 people

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          He lets you believe that he belongs to you. How cute!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Doug Thomas avatar

            LOL! I think it’s patronizing me, too!

            Liked by 1 person

  9. Penny Cooper avatar
    Penny Cooper

    😂😂😂😂😂💙Just loving his self important face💙😂😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      I know, just sitting there and loving himself!

      Like

      1. Penny Cooper avatar
        Penny Cooper

        Just when he thinks he is content, friends just send him that little extra touch!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          I’m not sure he ever thinks he’s content! That would imply that we are doing an adequate job, which we are not.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Penny Cooper avatar
            Penny Cooper

            😂😂😂 I know that feeling, goes right across my 3 daughters as well as Merlot!

            Liked by 1 person

  10. sevencatsandcounting avatar

    My French is very rusty and the title of this post initially threw me. “Argenterie” HAD to mean something other than silverware because Cats, obviously, do not need silverware. More fool me! Of course Louis requires fancy serving utensils and, also of course, cousin Darth now wants some, too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Of course he does! I bet he will go on hunger strike until he receives some, as your punishment for thinking cats didn’t need silverware!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. sevencatsandcounting avatar

        A hunger strike would shock me. Darth likes his chow too much. I won’t be surprised, though, if his arias of starvation become more frequent and more piercing than usual.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          His arias of starvation! I need to see videos!

          Liked by 1 person

  11. Belle avatar
    Belle

    What, no Lalique Crystal water goblet? No French Linen tablecloth?Madame, you are in dire need of Royal Service Etiquette! 🙀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Hilariously, the reason he doesn’t have a Lalique goblet is mainly because of Cat Daddy, who has past form in kicking over le gobelet royal!

      Like

  12. cat9984 avatar

    Louis must be relieved he is finally receiving the treatment he deserves. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Yes! It only took us, erm, nine years! (Well, not “us” as it was my friend Cathie who sent the argenterie.)

      Liked by 1 person

  13. […] least he’s eating. And, thanks to one of his lovely pilgrims, he has his own antique Louis XIV silver spoon with which I can measure out the boiling water. But what a pain in the […]

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  14. […] In addition to all of the above, the new intake of wet food means a constant round of washing Catorze’s fancy Japanese ergonomic raised bowls and his antique Louis XIV silverware.  […]

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