At school last week we had a training day, and the theme was “Effective Questioning”. Each of us had to go along to the session with three examples of ways in which we regularly question students in class, although I don’t know what my colleagues made of my choices (“WTF?” “Are you kidding me?” “The hell is wrong with you?”).
In somewhat related news, today is Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day. However, as we all know, cats simply don’t care enough about us to ask us anything. I don’t even think they could be bothered with any of the ones mentioned above.
So let’s turn this thing on its head: what questions would you ask Louis Catorze, if you could? I can’t guarantee he will answer politely, or even at all, but I will put them to him anyway and hope for the best.
jesuisleroisoleil 
What’s that off panel in the wall behind you Louis ? It looks like an interfacefor some sort of alien communication device …
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Oh no: HE is the alien communication device! 👽
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How did you end up at this home?
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Yes, I think we are all asking ourselves that same question! 🤣🤣🤣
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Despite felines’ frequent disdain for humans, you continue to put up with us. Why?
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Sa Maj says it’s because humans are so pathetically compliant and so easy to mould? Cats want to be fed at 5am? Done. ✅ Cats want exactly 10.3ml of boiling water poured over their food, 983 times a day? Done. ✅
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Oh Mighty One, what questions would you like answered by the human domestic staff? This was suggested to me by H.I.M Xenia – Ask not what your cat can do for you, but what you can do for your cat!
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This really made me giggle! I imagined the national anthem (ours, as it’s more sombre and starchy) playing in the background as Xenia said this!
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Dear Louis, do you know your lovely Cat Mummy talks about you on the Web every other day, which means you are famous all over the world thanks to her? Thank you for your answer.
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Sa Maj thanks you for your question. Oh, he knows all right, and frankly it’s the least he expects. He’s somewhat miffed that I am not also dealing T-shirts, fridge magnets and mugs bearing his face. 🤣🤣🤣
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Our answer confirms Sa Maj is an outstanding cat as I had presumed.
😺
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My question is ‘How many individual black cats live in your street?’
🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛🐈⬛
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Yours are the only two that anyone has ever seen together! So we have no idea whether the others are different cats, or the same one appearing in many places …
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…as trans-dimensional beings do…
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🤣🤣🤣
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I would love to ask a serious question, my dear Louis, but I’m afraid your human is in control of the censorship board…
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Maybe get Seigneur Jimi to telepathically communicate it to him? 👽
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Has the trajectory of your life been determined by the length of your fangs?
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Le Roi says les fangs may be long, but they don’t convey the twists and turns of Catorzian life. For a true depiction, his teeth would need to twist and turn like the horns of those funny sheep who end up not being able to see because of their twisty horns. 🐑
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If you could change one thing about your life, Louis, what would it be?
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Sa Maj says he is very happy indeed with his life, merci for asking, but he would like to be let out at The Front upon request, no questions asked. He is rather miffed that we decline his requests at times and doesn’t feel that a raging storm, howling foxes, cars or marauding youths should be a bar to his fun out there. I have told him that this ain’t gonna happen.
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More courage than brains. I’ve met some people like that.
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Yup. More lion than scarecrow. But most like the tin man than any other. Haven’t seen much evidence of a heart as yet. 🤣🤣🤣
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Dear Monsieur Roi, why do you not write about your adventures, as opposed to allowing your staff to slander you by distorting the truth with alarming regularity? Do you not realize, Sir, that their version of events MUST be disputed? After all, nothing less than your Royal reputation is at stake! Respectfully yours, Puzzled.
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Le Roi says, “Let her slander away. When The Revolution comes, she will pay.” 😱😱😱
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Your Mightiness, what is the secret behind your ability to compel so many of your pilgrims to visit you?
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Le Roi says that’s quite simple: mind control. 🤣🤣🤣
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