Dérouler le tapis rouge

Cat Daddy: “The red carpet in the living room looks awful. I can’t believe it’s worn down so quickly.”

Me: “Erm, it didn’t wear down.”

Him: “What do you mean?”

Me: “…”

Him: “What happened to it, then, if it didn’t wear down?”

Me: “…”

Him: “Oh my God. Please don’t tell me it was HIM?”

Me: “…”

Him: “[Unrepeatable Expletives of the Worst Kind]”

Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs: he leaves the Yuletide tree and the leather furnishings well alone, but Louis Catorze will attack carpet with every ounce of his evil little being. Carpeted surfaces are his bête noire – or, rather, he is theirs – so it’s just as well we don’t have many in Le Château. But what an almighty mess he’s made of the few that we do have.

So I’m snipping out the unsightly white stringy bits – they ruin every photo taken in this room – and hoping for the best. No doubt as soon as they are gone, Catorze will scratch up new ones, and when they’re cut out he will scratch up other news ones, and so on, until we cave pathetically and buy a new carpet.

Meanwhile, the little sod has no opinion one way or the other. Indifference is what he does, and he does it so well.

“Get a new carpet. Don’t get a new carpet. Whatever. Couldn’t give a merde.”

20 thoughts on “Dérouler le tapis rouge

  1. I used to have fleece on the floor in front of the bed. The Menace used to attack it and drag it off to use for terrible purposes. I’d find it in all parts of the house, bent, twisted, and mutilated. Current cat, Xenia is scared of anything like that.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I can’t choose what is worse: being the « bête noire » of a black cat or being a « bête noire » when you are a red carpet…
    Anyway, our bathroom carpet looks like yours thanks to our tabby cat.
    😺

    Liked by 2 people

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