Sadly it didnβt work out for the Black Cats in the League 1 play-offs, but Cat Daddy and I were lucky enough to score tickets for the Brentford-Swansea Championship play-off final in Wembley … and we won!
In other news: I have had my first session with Cat Daddyβs cycling friend, Gerard, and it was actually more fun than Iβd imagined (although my expectations were quite low).
Gerard came to the house at 10am and, as I was wheeling out the Millennial Falcon, Louis Catorze emerged, screaming, from That Neighbourβs garden. (We had no idea what he was doing there. And, no, we didnβt even know he was out at The Front.)
He was thrilled to meet a new man and hurled himself at Gerard, who stroked him and commented on his soft fur. Absolutely nobody has said this before, EVER, and it was such a departure from the usual assumptions (that heβs a stray, that heβs 102 years old, that heβs suffering from some wasting disease and doesnβt have long to live, or possibly all three) that I didnβt know how to respond. Then, as Gerard was adjusting the saddle on my bike, the screaming restarted.
Me: βIβm going to have to let him into the house.β
Catorze: βMwahhhhhhh!β
Gerard: βNah, heβs fine.β
Catorze: βMwahhhhhhh!β
Me: βYou donβt understand: I donβt want him disturbing our neighbour. He does it all the time.β
Catorze: βMwahhhhhhh!β
Gerard: βYour neighbour just needs to ignore it and tune out. I have.β
Catorze: βMwahhhhhhh!β
Me: β…β
Anyway, adjusting the saddle took longer than expected. All the while Catorze remained on full volume, screaming his lungs out, whilst I shuffled and winced awkwardly. Cat Daddy must have heard him from indoors – he canβt possibly NOT have heard him – and was probably hooting with laughter, but had clearly decided that it was my problem and not his.
Ten minutes later:
Catorze: βMwahhhhhhh! Mwahhhhhhh! Mwahhhhhhh! Mwahhhhhhh!β
Me: βIβm sorry, I canβt take this anymore. I HAVE TO LET HIM BACK INTO THE HOUSE.β
Catorze: βMwahhhhhhh!β
This time Gerard didnβt hesitate to agree.
He remarked that the screaming was βvery effectiveβ although this would suggest success in achieving some sort of goal, whereas we are yet to figure out the point of it all.
It would be good to be able to say βI wonβt ever have to face Gerard againβ, but heβs Cat Daddyβs friend AND I have a further two lessons booked with him, so the chances of that are slim-to-zΓ©ro.
Next time weβre meeting in the park. Letβs hope that Sa Maj doesnβt find a way of teleporting there.
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