La mort du Plan B

Le Grand Changement’s twists and turns are more dramatic than an episode of Line of Duty, and I cannot believe I am having to write this.

After a thoroughly successful Grand Changement (or so I stupidly thought), Louis Catorze has decided that he no longer wants to eat Canagan. And, naturellement, he made this decision AFTER we subscribed to six-weekly deliveries of Canagan at £35 a pop, the first of which is already here.

We initially put this down to temporary Summer Unhungries, but then he did the same thing again the following day. And, at the end of that second day, when I finally gave into the screaming and served a portion of his old food, he ate it.

This is worse than having the opposition score a 94th-minute winner in football. This is more like having them score long after the full-time whistle and the referee deciding to allow it.

Whilst it probably sounds comical that he’s so contrary, the reality of a cat who chooses starvation over new food is hugely stressful. We are utterly dismayed and mystified by this/him. We did not deviate from the instructions in the slightest – apart from using just one bowl when we saw how much the little sod was perturbed by two bowls, and apart from that one time early into the programme when Cat Daddy drunk-fed him Canagan on its own, WHICH HE ATE. So we can’t understand why this hasn’t worked.

Cat Daddy’s Helpful Comment of the Day: “Maybe he knows you’ve got more expensive food [the Plan C Orijen] for him, and he’s holding out for that?”

Me: “Sorry … what?”

Cat Daddy: “Maybe he’s just sensing it from you. Maybe you’re giving off vibes.”

Me: “Giving off … BETTER FOOD VIBES?”

Cat Daddy: “Yes. I mean, wouldn’t you do the same thing? Wouldn’t you stop eating boring old cod roe if you knew someone was hoarding caviar?”

[Silence, tumbleweed, crickets.]

We have no option but to unleash the money-vaporising, poverty-trapping weapon of mass destruction that is Orijen. And we are giving serious consideration to serving it alone, without the Lily’s Kitchen; it seems to be that, if Catorze can still see and smell his old food in the bowl, he will eat whatever is with it … but when the old food is taken away, however snail-slow the transition, he’s no longer interested. So we may bin the gradual changeover and find a food that he likes enough to eat on its own.

This defies all advice out there, due to the risk of puking and stomach upsets. But, let’s face it: dutifully following advice to the letter has achieved nothing so far.

No, you go ahead and relax. Don’t mind us, wasting time and money and losing sleep because of you.

50 thoughts on “La mort du Plan B

  1. Oh my…and he looks just a tiny bit calico-y with the light/tonal differences. I wonder if he’s the reincarnation of a food tester//reviewer that only goes to three star Michelin restaurants.

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  2. Oh dear! I feel for you. My first House Panther Ninja was most particular about his food. There was a massive recall on all sorts of brands of cat food in the early 2000s. I tried everything with Ninja, homemade sautéed chicken, steak, pork chop, even a steamed lobster from the nearest supermarket. Did he eat any of this? Non, no he did not…

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            1. Thank you. It is, isn’t it? We still have a small amount of his old food left, but obviously that’s not a long-term solution and at best it’s just delaying things. 😐

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  3. I had to change the food of Mr. Bowie a few times due to his allergy problems. We never found a real or good solution and had to look for the best option. However, I was very lucky Mr. Bowie always started to eat his new special diet food. He was such a sweet cat. But I think Louis is a little bit different… 😉

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        1. That would certainly explain a few things. HAVE YOU LOOKED AT DONNIE’S TAB YET?!!!!! We need to know! And then you might be able to find out if Louis is a Six Dinner Sid!
          x

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  4. I’ve had some picky cats but nothing like this one. One problem I have is that I have four. All four get the same food often from the same can or shipment. Identical. Same flavor. However, they prefer to eat out of someone else’s dish. They all start out with their own dish and within minutes there is a musical dish thing going one with everyone trying out each other’s food with me yelling “it’s all the same!” Cats, gotta love them!

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    1. It’s good to have an endorsement for Orijen! Are your cats fussy eaters or do they eat anything? Cat Daddy still insists that Sa Maj knew we had Orijen in the cupboard and was waiting for us to hand it over!

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      1. We are believers in the value of Orijen and my youngster cat is a kibble lover. She gave up what we fondly referred to as her “crack” when she discovered the Orijen. She still eats the other stuff on occasion, but the Orijen is the best. I don’t mind the price because I feel like it’s good food. It can be hard to find since we have to import it from Canada, but we’ve managed! I don’t know if my youngster cat is picky or not; since she was a rescue, my guess is that she could be less discerning out of necessity. We’ve offered her two different Orijen varieties and another kibble and she likes them all.

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        1. That’s so good to hear! I know it’s very good quality but sadly we’re guided by what they willingly eat, not the quality. 🤣 Cat Daddy will be furious if Catorze likes the Orijen but I’ll just be grateful for him to eat SOMETHING.

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          1. That is what it’s all about, after all, nurturing your house panther! I experience the lucky manipulation from my wet-food senior kitty. We must serve a lot of variety, and I never know when a beloved flavor is turned away as she desires a change. Maybe I can hold my extra cans and try it again in a couple of months, and she will eat it occasionally. Heaven forbid if I try to serve the same food two days in a row! I can actually relate to that, as I don’t want, either. So I have quite the opposite problem you do with your cat who wants consistency!

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            1. Unfortunately my cat wants consistency with a food that is no longer available to him. Lily’s Kitchen Marvellously Mature was what he liked, and it doesn’t exist anymore. 😫😫😫

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  5. I roasted a chicken yesterday and gave a few pieces to Miss Penny… just to see… and she not only ate it all but then refused to eat her regular food yesterday AND today! What have I done???!!! Cats are evil creatures! Maybe you could rename Sa Maj “Lucifer”? Maybe all this time he was just mad that you didn’t recognize his true identity?

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    1. Oh, trust me, I am fully aware that he’s Lucifer. I always have been. But this is a low blow even for the devil himself!

      As for Miss Penny, it’s a full moon tomorrow. So their telepathic communication is on point, with extra sharpness for Le Roi and Miss Penny’s Frenchness! 😱😱😱🇫🇷

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  6. The full moon may be the key here…that and the fact that he does look a bit calico-ish in the photo. (When John Ashcroft was US Attorney General under GW Bush he let it be known that he hated calico cats because they were evil. So if I hadn’t already been partial to calicos that would have swung me over to them completely). There are “toppers” to sprinkle on food. But that probably is only a waste of money. You are correct that cats will starve rather than neat what they don’t like. One of my cats went from 12 pounds to 6 when she had to go on a kidney diet. We compromised after that. (She was, of course, a calcio.)

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  7. And I was young and naive enough to think she “would eat” til the vet had her in for a re-check and put me on the right track. Thank goodness. So I have followed the vet’s advice ever since – even if they are supposed to be on a certain diet, feed them whatever they will eat.. Sometimes it isn’t just stubbornness, it can be the cat doesn’t want to eat because of chronic kidney disease, etc. But none of this helps with Catorze Maybe Cat Daddy is right about offering caviar. Or at least sardines.

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  8. Mine were picky too; I had to resort to feeding them canned macarel 🤢 on occasion, as whenever I found a food they liked, two days later one cat would decide that it was garbage and the rest, in an infuriating show of solidarity, would concur. I wonder if mixing a bit of fish oil or sprinkling powdered fish flakes in would help?

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