louiscatorze.com

Je crie, donc je suis

Oh. Saint. Jésus. As well as Hallowe’en being on a full moon this year, Mercury will also be in retrograde.

This is a period said to occur around three times a year and, in short, everything goes wrong. Travel is disrupted, misunderstandings occur, that email that you think was sent isn’t received, and so on. I tend not to look ahead to find out when the next Mercury Retrograde is, because I would rather not know. But, if things happen to be going particularly awry, I find myself checking and, more often than not, it’s here.

This time around, warnings appeared on my social media feed without me looking it up. So, even though I didn’t want to know, I do. And, now, so do you. You’re welcome.

The worst thing is that there doesn’t seem to be anything we can do about it. It would be more useful to read something like “If you must travel, protect yourself by carrying in your pocket thirteen hairs from a black vampire cat” but this kind of advice is never available. (That said, I’m pretty sure I could reach into any pockets of any clothes, dirty or clean, and find thirteen of Louis Catorze’s hairs.)

Mercury Retrograde is said to affect pets in various bizarre and/or undesirable ways: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2020/02/22/half-uk-pet-owners-think-dog-cat-acts-differently-mercury-retrograde-12284377/amp/

Now, if we were to visualise cats on a baseline scale from 0 to 10 in terms of freakishness, and to award one point for each of the thirty strange behaviours listed on the link above, even the worst cat in the world would only have a maximum total score of 40. However, if it’s a black cat, that’s automatically worth another 20 points. Plus we are approaching a full moon (+50) on Hallowe’en night (+666), and of course this is Catorze (+443,566). So, unfortunately, things aren’t looking promising for us.

The little sod has already started to ramp up the annoying behaviour by screaming, thundering around the house at all hours like an army of soldiers, and so on. Even The Count himself can’t cope with it and has decided to end it all (see photo below).

Mercury Retrograde is from 14th October to 3rd November. If you fancy monitoring your pets and letting me know how they get along, I would love to hear from you.

This wasn’t the ending that Bram Stoker had in mind.
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18 responses to “La malédiction de Mercure”

  1. Kate Crimmins avatar

    Oh no! Election day in the US is Nov. 3. Can it get any worse than it is? Never mind. Every time I ask that question, it gets worse.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Merde! That’s one of the worst moments to end up with the opposite of what you wanted! 😱 🇺🇸

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Kate Crimmins avatar

        insert terrified emoji here!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          There isn’t an emoji terrified enough. This one is ok 😱 but u feel more terrification is required.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. catladymac avatar
    catladymac

    Ye gods ! Mercury hasn’t actually gone into retrograde yet – I would have thought it had been there all year !

    Liked by 2 people

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Not yet, although they seem to have a pre-phase before the actual start date in which all the merde starts to hit the fan, and a post-phase in which it tails off slowly. I haven’t dared to check the dates of these …

      Liked by 1 person

        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          Don’t fall for it, Madame Witch! He will eat your soul!

          Like

  3. alicephilippa avatar
    alicephilippa

    Jenny Cat is already causing mayhem. *And* she’s not a black vampire cat. It’s going to be a bad one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Noooooo! 😱😱😱

      Like

  4. Sally Goodman avatar
    Sally Goodman

    Snoodle is pretty manic already, so lord knows what she’s going to be like, being a black, if not actual vampire cat!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      😱😱😱

      Like

  5. Lis avatar
    Lis

    Now I know why your trip to Mexico for Halloween could never have happened! Phew….
    Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Ugh. Can you IMAGINE having to ask a chat-sitteur to do it all?

      Like

  6. Lis avatar
    Lis

    You’d have to bring him….no other way about it! Wouldn’t it be fun to see how they all got on!….On the other hand, it might just be a disaster with Maya not being the perfect hostess.

    When I got home tonight I was told they were both in the « dog house » after fur-flying-screaming -fight! No idea what set it off, but they were royally chastised by CD!…..and then to make matters worse, a visiting Tom was spotted by the front door (open with mosquito netting). That was the last straw for Maya who went into a total demonic fury……this girl can make Louis look like an angel!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Oh my! 😱😱😱

      Like

  7. […] birthday is on 30th April and, from 21st April to 14th May, our good friend Mercury will be up to his old tricks again. I know. A creepy black cat with vampire teeth turning thirteen on Beltane Eve, during Mercury […]

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  8. […] Mercury Retrograde starts today. So, far from cats’ bull- and/or apeshittery calming down after last Friday’s full moon, it’s actually likely to get worse.  […]

    Like

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