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I often ask Cat Daddy if we can have another cat (and he always says no) but, in reality, I know that it probably wouldn’t work. This is not only because Louis Catorze has been the lone sovereign for all his life with us, but also because I couldn’t handle a team of the little bastards arsing about and conspiring against us. 

Rodan, who is under house arrest due to Le Cône, managed to escape outside. This happened because his sister, Mothra, upon realising that he wanted to go out, stood by the Sureflap, activating the lock release in the process. 

Luckily Rodan didn’t have the brains or the inclination to make the most of it, and came back when he was called (?). But that’s not the point. The point is that having more than one of them can only end badly. So, if you have two or more cats, you’re doomed. But I expect you probably knew that anyway. 

So thank God I only have one. Well, perhaps gratitude isn’t the right sentiment. And God probably doesn’t have much to do with it, either. 

For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com