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Cat Daddy and I have just flipped the mattress in the main bedroom. We’re supposed to do it every few weeks, apparently, but we’ve been a bit lazy and left it, erm, quite a bit longer than that. 

I felt that it was probably time to flip when I woke up with back pain every morning. Obviously, at this point, I should have done the deed immediately. But, again, because I was lazy, until I could muster up the spirit to do the task, I thought I’d experiment with sleeping in different positions: diagonally from corner to opposite corner, horizontally across the foot end, and so on. 

Louis Catorze is a cat who doesn’t cope well with anything out of the ordinary from his daily routine. 

Can you see where this is going, Mesdames et Messieurs? 

The first night that I slept diagonally across my bed, with my head at the foot end, the little sod lost his shit. Upon discovering my new sleeping position, he bounced all over me, from left to right and back again, screaming himself senseless.

Catorze returned every few hours, just to check, “Is she still doing it?” And, each time, his inspection was accompanied by more bouncing around and screaming. Eventually I stopped going back to sleep between inspections and was actually able to witness him jump up onto the bed, walk over to where my head would usually be and, for a split second, look completely puzzled. Were it not for the fact that I was exhausted, it would have been quite funny.

By morning I had snapped out of my laziness, and Cat Daddy and I flipped the mattress later that day.  As soon as Catorze saw my head where it should be, normal service – well, whatever passes for “normal” in this place – resumed. 

Here he is, photographed during a rare calm moment: 

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