How would you describe yourself to someone?
Louis Catorze would probably describe himself as a very fine cat indeed. However, we know that this is a lie.
It’s 17:05 on Sunday, and Cat Daddy and I returned home from our holiday almost an hour ago.
Louis Catorze was in his favourite place, atop the back of the outdoor sofa, when we arrived. He watched us through the patio doors as we unloaded our stuff, emitting the odd meow. Then, once we were all unpacked, the little sod decided to bugger off somewhere else.
We discovered that he had settled into the corner of the sofa, out of sight.
Just to clarify: he knew that we were home. He even made eye contact with each of us, on several occasions. But he made the conscious choice not to come and greet us.
At about 17:15, Cat Daddy opened the patio doors for some air (very reluctantly, because he didn’t want this to be interpreted as a sign of weakness). No reaction from Catorze.
I don’t know why I expected a cat who truly couldn’t give even the square root of a shit, to greet us like a loving, loyal dog.
We shall continue to sit here until someone blinks first.
Thank you to our lovely chat-sitter for looking after him. He obviously had such a lovely time with her that he couldn’t care less about us.
Updates:
17:30 – still not in.
18:00 – still not in.
18:15 – Cat Daddy really wants to go outside and see how his tomato plants are doing, but “doesn’t want to look like he’s giving in”. So he doesn’t.
18:33 – FINALLY!
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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