What personal belongings do you hold most dear?
If you were to ask Boots, I bet he wouldn’t say “collars”.
Anyone who knows about cats will, most likely, know about the Cat Distribution System. This is the idea that, when the planets are aligned in a particular way, the universe will send you a cat. Mind you, I’d like to know what was going on when it sent us Louis Catorze; was it a dark moon alongside Mercury Retrograde with Beelzebub Rising? Someone certainly has some explaining to do.
Anyway, it has come to my attention that, as well as a Cat Distribution System, there may also be a Collar Distribution System.
After Boots’ last collar disaster – it seems we ordered a dog one by mistake – we had to resume our search for a new supply for him. (Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs: the big sod has managed to lose nine, or maybe 187 – we’ve lost count – Chelsea collars, in and around the CR4 area.)
However, just as Boots donned the very last collar of his collection, That Neighbour* posted one through his letterbox, after finding it randomly lying around and knowing that it belonged to Boots. Then, when Boots’ mamma bumped into That same Neighbour in town, he mentioned that he’d just found another one and had posted that through, too.
*Not the TW8 That Neighbour, who escorts Catorze home when he escapes. There is also a CR4 That Neighbour, the one who always happens to find Boots’ discarded Chelsea collars around the neighbourhood. Yes, it’s the same person every time. And he happens to be a Chelsea fan, too,
Regretfully, the bell is missing from one of the collars, and the bell is all-important for warning Chat Noir Antoine of the presence of his usurper stepbrother. But, that aside, the Collar Distribution System appears to be working. Whenever Boots is in need, just at the point where his mamma thinks it’s time to buy more collars AGAIN, one appears.
So Boots has recovered two of his lost Chelsea collars, and he’s just taken a delivery of some new, properly-fitting Crystal Palace ones, too, in the very likely event that he loses those two. And now all is well with the universe.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
Leave a comment