We’ve just been to the vet for Louis Catorze’s steroid shot.
I was going to say something about how shit it was, but we haven’t had to take him since 1st July, so I don’t suppose I have much to complain about. I remember the time when we seemed to be taking him constantly, so much so that I thought we may as well take sleeping bags and go and live there. Now THAT was shit.
Whilst in the waiting room this time around, I noticed that the paraphernalia arranged in the Dog Area consisted of zany chews and toys, whereas in the Cat Area it was just cat magazines. The vet knows their target market well. Don’t ask us introverted cat people to do any mad capers that require effort; just give us something catty to read and leave us alone.
The cat who came out of the consultation room before us was a big, beautiful ginge called Murphy. He had been pretty quiet until then but, as soon as he heard Catorze, that set him off. Perhaps not surprisingly, their squawks sounded more like actual messages than just generic noise; we imagined Catorze screaming, “Nonnnnn, not ici again!” and Comrade Murphy telling him to run and save himself.
Anyway, Catorze has lost weight again – which we expected after three months without the thing that gives him the munchies – but at least he’ll be bouncy and sprightly for the spooky season. And when the vet said, “Is he a little bit … blind?” I was so shocked that I actually lost the power of speech, but Cat Daddy chimed in that Catorze is able to spot faraway random bugs and go chasing after them. So he can’t possibly be blind. If his reactions are slow, it’s probably because he’s old and a bit thick.
Oh, and he declined the vet’s offer of Dreamies. I didn’t dare ask if they had any jambon de Bayonne.
As if to prove me wrong, just as I wrote that bit about being old and thick, Catorze jumped off my lap and chased something between the table and the mirror. He may be old, but there’s plenty of [whatever unholy force it is that powers him] left in him.

For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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