On Friday night, Cat Daddy and I watched the opening ceremony of the Paris Olympics. If you missed it, just chug a couple of shots of overproof vodka and watch back-to-back episodes of Dr Who (from the 1970s, not recent ones) on YouTube, and you’ll have a similar experience. And, if you fancy a giggle, check out the Brits on social media, moaning about the speakers addressing everyone in French. Yes, speaking French, the official language of the games, in Paris. Imagine that!
Louis Catorze was conspicuously absent throughout and, although it was disappointing that he didn’t want to sit with us and witness this historic event in his fatherland, we didn’t think much of it. He has been known to go missing for hours and be absolutely fine – and, no, we still don’t know exactly where he goes. It’s probably better that way.
Then Family Next Door informed us that he was at their place.
Me: “The hell is he doing there?”
Mamma Next Door: “Watching the Olympics.”
Right.
I was so shocked that my brain didn’t even think to say, “It must be some other black cat”. Not that there would have been much point, as Family Next Door know Catorze like they know their own names.
Plus there was no denying this pose in this photo:
That said, I don’t know why I was shocked, as Catorze is known for wandering into other people’s houses. That Neighbour once found him upstairs on the landing, screaming himself senseless. And our previous neighbour thought she had mice but, when she looked under her bed to find the source of the mysterious scrabbling, it was Catorze.
There have also been various reports of his failed attempts to break into people’s houses. In one case he was battering at the door in a quite insistent manner, undeterred by the dog on the other side.
I wonder whether Catorze strutted home on Friday night, thinking, “Ha – these jobards don’t know where I’ve been”? Regretfully, unless we actually confront him next door – and, if you’ve ever bumped into your cats unexpectedly outside of your home, you will know how hilarious their faces are when they see you – the little sod will never know that we’re onto him.
If Catorze were a dog, people would be really cross with us for not training him properly. It’s a good thing he’s a cat, because everyone seems to understand that cats do whatever the heck they want. Even if it’s not what we want.
louiscatorze.com 
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