Some say that the Spring Equinox marks the first day of spring. For others, it’s 1st March (Meteorological Spring here in the UK) or even the last Sunday in March, the day that the clocks go forward. Cat people, however, know that spring is here when our furry overlords start spending more time outdoors and getting up to all sorts of mischievous capers.
No, not this. This is not what I had in mind at all:
Now, hear us out.
Although Louis Catorze was out at The Front on the night that this took place (having heard me say “Don’t even THINK about running out!” as I was putting out the recycling and clearly seeing that as some sort of dare), this calling card really isn’t his style. However, we still had to think of something to say to Family Next Door, whose pavement space was the worst hit by the mess, before they saw it for themselves and made their own assumptions.
These were our options:
1. “Louis was not responsible for this; he rarely ever catches birds.” (Nope: this still implies that he catches them occasionally, and/or that he catches other animals more often.)
2. “Louis was not responsible for this; leaving a trail of feathers really isn’t his thing.” (Nope: this suggests that he’s still a murderer, but one who tidies up after himself.)
3. “Louis was not responsible for this; he wasn’t even out at The Front at the time.” (Nope: that last bit is a lie, because he WAS out at The Front at the time. Plus Family Next Door have a doorbell camera so they might even have seen him pitter-patter by, putting him at the scene of the crime irrespective of whether he did it.)
In the end we went for the direct yet also deliberately minimalistic, “Louis was not responsible for this”.
Daddy Next Door messaged us back with this:
Obviously there’s been some mistake and they intended to send this some other cat-owning neighbour. I’m sure they will be mortified when they realise what they’ve done. Ahem.
Anyway, the mystery remains: who is the murderer*? And, more importantly, where is the body**?
*I would bet my house on it being Blue the Smoke Bengal. This is EXACTLY his MO.
**In Blue’s belly.
louiscatorze.com 
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