On Saturday it was the hottest day of the year in the U.K., beating the record which was set, erm, the previous Thursday.
Cat Daddy and I absolutely hated it, and cursed all the people who complained about the short-lived summer (yes, the heatwave is YOUR FAULT). But, for Louis Catorze, it was business as usual, and the poor little sod couldn’t understand why I didn’t want him on my lap. Likewise, I couldn’t understand why he DID want to be on my lap. So it was a day of cluelessness and misery all round.
We have, of course, read lots of advice regarding keeping cats cool during a heatwave: multiple water stations*, that kind of thing. However, following the success of his advice on how to upend a bin bag, Catorze would like to offer his own tips for dealing with a heatwave. No, none of them make logical sense. But then nothing about him ever does.
*We tried this with him during the last heatwave. He used his extra stations a grand total of 0 (zero) times.
1. Sleep in the part of the garden that traps the sun all day:
2. Head for the hottest room in the house:
3. Snuggle up on a woollen cushion, underneath a fluffy winter blanket:
If you are able to do all of the above whilst also drinking no water whatsoever, letting yourself shrivel into a dry husk that crumbles to dust when the wind blows your way, extra kudos to you.
Please, no more freak heatwaves. We want crisp air and pretty leaves and morning mist and pumpkins. PLEASE.
louiscatorze.com 
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