Dans des moments comme ceux-ci

This fine gentleman is Mr Fu:

How do you do, Mr Fu.?

He is friends with Louis Catorze’s frère-from-another-mère, Antoine, and Antoine’s usurper stepbrother, Boots.

Well, I say “friends” but, in actual fact, they’re only friends in the same way that Catorze is friends with Cocoa the babysit cat and his sister, Chanel. It’s the humans who are friends. The cats have never met and I’m pretty sure that, if they did, there would be carnage and bloodshed. But it’s nice to pretend, non?

Most places in England, including vet practices, are closed today for the Queen’s funeral. (No doubt the corgis asked for this; I bet they’re overjoyed that their most hated place in the world is closed.) So, naturellement, Mr Fu thought this would be a good time to go out scrapping and end up with a fight wound that required medical treatment. A lump appeared on his head on Saturday afternoon and had deteriorated by the evening but, luckily, by that time, his humans had managed to bag one of the last available slots on Sunday.

One prescription (Metacam and antibiotics) and one bill later, Mr Fu is doing fine. Pulling a stunt like this when the whole country is closed for the long weekend is beyond evil, yet also utterly typical of cats and what they do. I bet the little sod had been planning this for months.

I wish there were an option for those of us with, erm, untrustworthy cats, which allowed us to book vet appointments for inconvenient times and cancel at the last minute in the unlikely event of the cats behaving themselves. It’s my birthday next month and the whole family are coming over for lunch, and I am giving serious consideration to booking such an appointment for Catorze. He doesn’t need the vet (at the moment). But it would be just like him to do something stupid on that day, leaving us scrabbling around for the last remaining appointment right in the middle of our main course. And, if you don’t believe Catorze would stoop that low, have a look here.

So … do I book the appointment, with the fear that I might forget to cancel 24 hours beforehand and end up being charged and/or blacklisted as an infidel no-show? Or do I leave it and risk Catorze crawling in from the Zone Libre, bleeding from the eyeballs, drooling black vomit and dragging his lifeless back legs behind him, just as we are all leaving for the pub?

I suspect that whatever we do will end up being the wrong thing. Bastard cats.

Antoine: “Stupid humans!”
Boots: “Pathetic humans!”
Catorze: “Whatever. Couldn’t really give a merde.”

14 thoughts on “Dans des moments comme ceux-ci

      1. I speak in code. I used to say “V. E. T.” but KitKat learned what that meant, so now I call the vet by her name “She’s going to see [vet’s name]”. It won’t be long before she knows what that means too.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Haha, this story reminds me of my parents who did that for a while wit us kids, like “should we have C.A.K.E?” and then they started using English words (instead of French), and then German words…. and then we kids turned against our parents and learned Spanish! Cats speak “cat” already, so I think they’ve outsmarted us a long time ago 😉

          Liked by 2 people

  1. Poor Boots. Doesn’t he know that mimicking the Metro Goldwyn Mayer lion when you are about to turn toothless is not a good idea?
    By the way, Timon, our current cat, who is a tabby, has telepathic gifts too. Your answer to Kate Crimmis saddens him awfully.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You have vets that are open on Sundays ???

    The Saturday before Labor Day one of our crew began peeing blood….Luckily I had time to call the vet and ask for the office manager to page the vet for a prescription (the cat’s had this before), But no doctors were available. However, the office manager said she could give him a refill prescription I could pick up in half an hour and make an appointment for a reasonable time the next week. (And the antibiotic worked by the time he saw the dr,)
    The last time I went to the emergency clinic I couldn’t even find a parking place.

    So YES – set up the appointment NOW for your special day and consider yourself getting off cheaply if you only have to pay a fee for a late cancel !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There aren’t MANY practices open on a Sunday, and fewer still who are open the day before a bank holiday but, yes, we do have them. I might book one for Christmas at the same time!

      Like

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