Whilst the rest of us have had to deal with all manner of shortages on the supermarket shelves, the squirrels are just fine and dandy, merci for asking. It’s the middle of winter and food is supposed to be scarce, yet they are, inexplicably, looking plump and meaty.
This is not just a generic squirrel thing across the whole population; the ones in TW8 are noticeably fatter than their rest-of-London counterparts, and we know this because other Londoners comment when they visit us. And, despite the fact that they clearly don’t need the extra food, they have renewed their efforts to steal the food that Cat Daddy has been leaving out for the birds.
All this makes Cat Daddy more angry with the squirrels than I ever thought possible. He is also angry with Louis Catorze for “not doing his job” in preventing this thievery.
Now, for a while I thought perhaps Catorze was reluctant to take on the squirrels because they were almost the same size as him. However, we know that he is perfectly happy to confront three foxes at a time, so this can’t possibly be the reason. I have also wondered whether, somehow, due to his advancing years and because the squirrels are the same colour as the fence and the winter shrubbery, he just isn’t able to see them. But then, if he is able to spot a bug who is minding its own business across a dark room, he is quite capable of seeing a chubby chonkster of a squirrel doing this:

Conclusion: Catorze is fully aware of what’s going on and would do something if he wanted to, but he just doesn’t want to. And why would he, since he has Cat Daddy to run outside on his behalf, shouting and waving a stick at the offenders?
I was about to semi-quote Sylvia Plath and say that Catorze was steering Le Château like his own private car, but that would be far too much like hard work. He’s happily relaxing on the passenger side and letting his chauffeurs – us – get on with the steering.

We had bird feeders several years ago and I actually enjoyed watching the squirrels. The birds still had plenty so I never worried about it. I do remember reading about something you can put in the bird food to make it spicy. The birds don’t mind spicy but the squirrels don’t like it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I didn’t know that. When Cat Daddy finds out he will be buying reaper chillies by the bucketload. 🌶
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who knows? Louis might also not agree with Cat Daddy’s behaviour.
Where I live, I can only see red squirrels. Is Cat Daddy angry with all the squirrels over the world or only with the grey ones?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, Cat Daddy would love to see red ones! We’ve only ever seen them once, in Scotland. I don’t suppose it makes much sense to discriminate between colours, but that’s Cat Daddy for you. 🤷♀️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe His Maj thinks CD LIKES chasing squirrels and doesn’t want to step on his toes?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I myself think Cat Daddy might secretly like it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s pigeons for my dad. Pre-pandemic, he’d be sitting with me watching TV and suddenly bolt for the door to scare them off. He moves pretty fast for a 70+ old man with arthritis, especially considering the pigeons would just look at him like “wtf is this crazy person trying to do?” and go on with their day without a care! 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh goodness, Cat Daddy hates the pigeons too. I think he hates them as much as he hates the squirrels.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t want to sound impolite to Cat Daddy. If I did, can you forgive me?
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤣🤣🤣
LikeLike
But one has staff!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed!
LikeLike
Maybe the squirrels pay homage to Louis and made him king. Or maybe they keep the bird population down and Louis likes that. Who knows.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my: do squirrels catch birds? 😱
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t think so. At least ours don’t.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like running off the squirrels is a lot of work. I understand why he would like someone else take care of it
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can understand too! It looks like a nuisance of a task!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Over here the black squirrels – a version of red squirrels – have spread across NE Ohio. They do raid the bird feeders, but they sometimes end up as cat prey too. Catorze probably feels it is beneath his dignity as an Older Gentleman.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Catorze doesn’t seem aware of his age, though. We are the ones who make a fuss about it. He’s as sprightly as a kitten! 🤣🤣🤣
LikeLike
My guess is that Sa Maj and the squirrels signed a “traité de non-agression” (not sure what it’s called in English) so that they could live peacefully together. If he hunted them or even just scarred them, I bet they’d retaliate in a way worse manner than just eating the birds’ food, trust me 😀 (I’ve heard of horrifying damages caused by squirrels!) So, once more, you should thank Sa Maj!
LikeLiked by 1 person
He did, erm, pull the tail off one once (we think). And they retaliated by trashing our flowerbed and scattering earth everywhere. 😱😱😱
LikeLike
Oh, in this photo le roi looks so diminutive and kittenish. Surely Cat Daddy can’t be serious about wanting his boy to hunt squirrels? Louis could get hurt!
LikeLiked by 1 person
He takes on all comers: dogs, foxes, larger cats, anyone!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just not squirrels since that’s what you ‘want’ him to do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess I need to start wanting the opposite of what I want! 🤣🤣🤣
LikeLike
I don’t know about the squirrels there, but the ones here are aggressive when cornered. It could be he messed with them and learned his lesson. Then again, he should at least be annoyed (on cat principle, if nothing else) that the squirrels drive the birds away 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
The ones here seem to coexist happily with the birds and unite in their hatred of Catorze. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that. 😬
LikeLiked by 1 person
Catorze is wise to not take on their combined forces 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know if I’d call him “wise”. He probably just hasn’t thought of it. 🤣🤣🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol Poor guy. Well, try shooing him away from the vicinity of the squirrels. Maybe he’ll think he’s not supposed to go near them, which will prompt him to start going after them 🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think reverse psychology is definitely the way to go! “Le Roi! Avoid the squirrels at all costs!” 🤣🤣🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person