Comme un esclave dans un état totalitaire

Whilst the rest of us have had to deal with all manner of shortages on the supermarket shelves, the squirrels are just fine and dandy, merci for asking. It’s the middle of winter and food is supposed to be scarce, yet they are, inexplicably, looking plump and meaty.

This is not just a generic squirrel thing across the whole population; the ones in TW8 are noticeably fatter than their rest-of-London counterparts, and we know this because other Londoners comment when they visit us. And, despite the fact that they clearly don’t need the extra food, they have renewed their efforts to steal the food that Cat Daddy has been leaving out for the birds.

All this makes Cat Daddy more angry with the squirrels than I ever thought possible. He is also angry with Louis Catorze for “not doing his job” in preventing this thievery.

Now, for a while I thought perhaps Catorze was reluctant to take on the squirrels because they were almost the same size as him. However, we know that he is perfectly happy to confront three foxes at a time, so this can’t possibly be the reason. I have also wondered whether, somehow, due to his advancing years and because the squirrels are the same colour as the fence and the winter shrubbery, he just isn’t able to see them. But then, if he is able to spot a bug who is minding its own business across a dark room, he is quite capable of seeing a chubby chonkster of a squirrel doing this:

Cheeky fat sod.

Conclusion: Catorze is fully aware of what’s going on and would do something if he wanted to, but he just doesn’t want to. And why would he, since he has Cat Daddy to run outside on his behalf, shouting and waving a stick at the offenders?

I was about to semi-quote Sylvia Plath and say that Catorze was steering Le Château like his own private car, but that would be far too much like hard work. He’s happily relaxing on the passenger side and letting his chauffeurs – us – get on with the steering.

Yes, that is a copy of The Bell Jar just in shot.

32 thoughts on “Comme un esclave dans un état totalitaire

  1. We had bird feeders several years ago and I actually enjoyed watching the squirrels. The birds still had plenty so I never worried about it. I do remember reading about something you can put in the bird food to make it spicy. The birds don’t mind spicy but the squirrels don’t like it.

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  2. Who knows? Louis might also not agree with Cat Daddy’s behaviour.
    Where I live, I can only see red squirrels. Is Cat Daddy angry with all the squirrels over the world or only with the grey ones?

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    1. Oh, Cat Daddy would love to see red ones! We’ve only ever seen them once, in Scotland. I don’t suppose it makes much sense to discriminate between colours, but that’s Cat Daddy for you. 🤷‍♀️

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      1. It’s pigeons for my dad. Pre-pandemic, he’d be sitting with me watching TV and suddenly bolt for the door to scare them off. He moves pretty fast for a 70+ old man with arthritis, especially considering the pigeons would just look at him like “wtf is this crazy person trying to do?” and go on with their day without a care! 😂

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  3. Over here the black squirrels – a version of red squirrels – have spread across NE Ohio. They do raid the bird feeders, but they sometimes end up as cat prey too. Catorze probably feels it is beneath his dignity as an Older Gentleman.

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  4. My guess is that Sa Maj and the squirrels signed a “traité de non-agression” (not sure what it’s called in English) so that they could live peacefully together. If he hunted them or even just scarred them, I bet they’d retaliate in a way worse manner than just eating the birds’ food, trust me 😀 (I’ve heard of horrifying damages caused by squirrels!) So, once more, you should thank Sa Maj!

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  5. I don’t know about the squirrels there, but the ones here are aggressive when cornered. It could be he messed with them and learned his lesson. Then again, he should at least be annoyed (on cat principle, if nothing else) that the squirrels drive the birds away 🙂

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