Le lit invisible

I have treated Louis Catorze to a new spring-summer bed, as his chaise longue is now buckled out of shape and no longer fit for use. And, yes, I realise that the timing is silly as summer is coming to an end, but I’ve done it now.

Cat Daddy winced as he watched me unwrap the package, bearing the sort of facial expression and body language more appropriate for watching someone defuse a bomb.

Him: “That looks awful.”

Me: “…”

Him: “Oh God, PLEASE tell me that’s just the wrapping and not what it actually looks like?”

Me: “…”

When it finally emerged from the box, HE was the one who was silenced when he realised not only that the bed was reasonably attractive, but that it was designed for scratching, so hopefully Catorze will stop wrecking the stair runner.

One surprise was that the bed came with a sachet of suspicious-looking herbal matter. A friend who is a regular buyer of cardboard scratching beds has confirmed that it’s quite normal for the purchases to be accompanied by drugs, to entice cats into using the beds. No doubt they are aware of what contrary little sods they are, and they know exactly what to do to make them play ball. New bed? Non. New bed with drugs? Ouais.

It’s not what it looks like. Oh, wait … IT IS.

I decided to firstly try the bed on its own, and to unleash the narcotics only if Catorze wasn’t interested. And it’s been a few days now and he hasn’t gone anywhere near it.

Obviously this is no surprise to me as he’s never been one to do what we want, when we want him to do it, but he hasn’t simply sniffed it and then walked away; he pitter-patters past it as if it were just air, appearing not to even see it. So it looks as if I will have to deploy the magic herbs, or label the bed “Cats are not permitted to sit here” (which worked a treat last time), or – my Ace of Spades, guaranteed to reap results within minutes – advertise the bed on eBay and say it’s never been used.

Here is the bed. No idea where Catorze is.

More like a sculpture than a bed. Not that it matters because he still couldn’t give a merde about it.

17 thoughts on “Le lit invisible

  1. Gorgeous bed indeed, or maybe not a bed but a “chaise longue” for Sa Maj 😀 Treats are the only things that work with Miss Penny. Don’t want to try the cat tree? Oh but with treats we’ll go anywhere! Don’t want to get into the carrier? Oh but with treats we’ll go anywhere. Etc. I bet that in the winter, when it’s a bit chilly, Sa Maj will love his new bed near the radiator 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Only two? 🙀 I realise I spoil my little princess, but she has more beds than I can count and/or know where to put. 😅 And I just bought some more (not even just one, what is wrong with me). She has so many to choose from, but some are winter beds and some are summer beds, and some are “I’m hiding from the niblings” beds and some are “I’m hiding from the rain” beds (which is actually just the cupboard under the sink. I should get her a bed for in there…) She has window-sill pads, scratch/play mats, and the option of sitting on any of the chairs in the living room. (Of course, she chooses to sit on the notebook the carers have to write in while they’re trying to write in it.)

        Tell Cat Daddy y’all are depriving your cat son of the quintessential experience of the life of a pet cat and buy some more beds for His Maj. 😂

        Liked by 2 people

          1. No, I get that. I lament often, “Where is my shin cat? Where has she gone? My shins need warming!” (because she doesn’t like to sit in my lap properly, but will curl up/sprawl out over my shins — but only in winter and when there’s a quilt between us).

            I found myself feeling guilty, though, when she was curled up on the cold windowsill or under my bed, so I basically just bought a new bed every time she found somewhere else to sleep. Like, if she’s going to sleep there, she might as well be comfortable and keep the draft out 😂

            I’m told frequently by one of my carer that KitKat has /too many/ beds. (Can you believe that?!) To be fair, the house is covered in cat stuff so they’re probably right 😅

            Liked by 2 people

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