Sésame, ouvre-toi! (Partie 2)

A few nights ago Louis Catorze somehow wasn’t able to come in through the Sureflap, and the little sod was stuck outside all night.

If Catorze stops wanting to use the Sureflap and screams for the door to be opened for him instead – which he does from time to time – it’s hard to know whether something is genuinely wrong or whether he’s just being a lazy shite. We do thoroughly check the Sureflap for any problems – malfunctioning mechanism, duff batteries, deadly tarantulas nesting in the tunnel and so on – but we can never find anything wrong, so usually we just put it down to him being a lazy shite and ignore him. And then he starts using it again.

However, the following night, after trying several new sets of batteries, the same thing occurred and he was stuck outside again. So it looks as if Sa Maj will require a new Sureflap. And, naturellement, this isn’t as straightforward as I imagined because Sureflap has advanced significantly since we first became customers in 2012, when we had Luther.

The models from which we can choose are as follows:

1. Entry level model – lets only certain cats in but all out, up to a total number of 32 (!) cats

2. DualScan model – lets only certain cats in and certain cats out, for those of us who have both the rare ones who behave and the troublemakers who need to be kept isolated from society

3. Connect model with hub – enables you to “connect with your cat from anywhere in the world” (whatever that means)

Cat Daddy, laughing hysterically: “CONNECT WITH YOUR CAT FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD?”

He has a point. If Catorze is here and we’ve chosen to be somewhere else in the world, the chances are we don’t want to connect with him.

Anyway, Cat Daddy wants to try to fix the Sureflap. However, I want to buy the super-snazzy connect model with hub. (In the highly likely event of me never figuring it out, school starts in a couple of weeks so I can always show the accompanying app to one of my Year 9s and ask them to explain.)

Whilst we make up our minds what to do, we have had to deactivate the Sureflap’s magical selective powers and turn it into a manual swing door, to allow poor Catorze to come in.

Sadly this means that any old random punter who wants to come in, can also do so. The only question is: who will be first?

Vampires can only enter if invited.

32 thoughts on “Sésame, ouvre-toi! (Partie 2)

  1. Sureflap have amazing after sales service – let them know it’s broken and they might give you a discount off a new one. I have the dualscan and it’s great xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. They also, for a 50% discount sent me a modified flap when Hendrix discovered he could get out of a locked cat flap! They have a special custom design, application on request xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A custom design? So I could ask for one that emits a gentle beep if a dead rat is brought in, and an air-raid style klaxon for a live one?

      Liked by 1 person

        1. You know how The Terminator can scan its targets and tell if they’re dead or alive? Yeah, that. I want a cat flap that does that.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Luckily we don’t have possums or raccoons. Foxes, though. Oh dear.

      And he is evil! If I ever gave the impression that he was anything else, it was accidental!


  3. Erm…isn’t Catorze the “troublemaker” who needs to be kept isolated from society?🤔 Or so it’s always been insinuated, in which case I am certain that perhaps Sa Maj may have had a paw in the flaps’ malfunction, perhaps with the intention of welcoming new members to Boys’ Club 😸

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, sadly he is one of those. And I dread to think which other Club members he will be inviting … 😱😱😱


        1. One came by a couple of weeks ago! It stood and stared at Catorze, 2-3 metres apart, WHILST CAT DADDY AND I ALSO SAT THERE. And, when Catorze started to crane his neck for a better look, it turned and walked away … and he went after it! 😱😱😱

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I’ve noticed that wild animals in cities are more interested in other animals than they are in people. They’re generally wary of people, but not that curious (I guess they’ve figured us out). But I swear the local raccoons are fascinated by the other raccoon that gets to live inside (one of our cats has mask markings and enjoys watching them back) XD I guess Catorze was curious too.

            Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, I’ve just caught him hissing and growling at a fox, so he would deffo chase them out. If it were a cat, I think it would depend on the cat.

      Liked by 1 person

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