Category: Uncategorized
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Louis Catorze’s body clock is completely up the spout. He is unhungry in the morning, remaining so all day, as if he has forgotten that food is even a thing. Then, as soon as the sun sets, that’s when he wants to eat. In fact, a few days ago, we knew that it was EXACTLY…
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What’s the most fun way to exercise? Louis Catorze is a senior gentleman, so much of his time is spent not doing a great deal. However, he is able to commit himself to sport when he feels like it, and these are some of the ones that he likes: However, Catorze’s favourite sport of them…
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And there I was berating kittens for being massive shites when I, of all people, ought to know that they don’t get much better when they grow up. I wasn’t able to exercise much last week because of my cold, so I was looking forward to my first walk in ages with my walking friend,…
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What animals make the best/worst pets? I don’t know enough about all the different animals in the world to know which are the best pets. But kittens are the worst, without a doubt. I can’t deny that my sister’s new kittens, Mothra and Rodan, are cute. But then all psychopaths have an initial superficial charm,…
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I have a cold, and it’s the awful kind that keeps you awake at night with the sweats and the dribbles (sorry if this is too much information). If you know anyone who has ever worked in a school, you will know that it’s practically the law for staff to fall ill during the school…
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Any day that starts with being spat on HAS to get better, non? My alarm call this morning was Louis Catorze standing on my chest, screaming, followed by one of those shuddery full-body shakes that cats and dogs do. Because he can’t close his mouth fully on account of his protruding fangs, his shakes are…
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Black cats are psychopaths. Kittens are psychopaths. And multiple cats together bring out a gang psychopathy which wouldn’t have been present, or at least would have been significantly diluted, with just one cat. We all know this, right? Yet my sister (not the mamma of Otis and Roux, but the other sister) has just allowed…
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It’s the Easter holidays. I would usually introduce a holiday post with “Merci à Dieu” but, in this case, it’s also a couple of days before the start of Mercury Retrograde and I’m stuck at home for two weeks with Louis Catorze. So it’s more of a “Merde, merde and thrice merde” than a “Merci…
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How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals? My only goal in life is to sleep, and anyone who struggles to sleep will understand this. A good night’s sleep doesn’t simply make me feel better; it makes LIFE feel better. On those precious, rare days when I’ve slept well,…
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It’s official: Cat Daddy has banned the Spring Zing from Le Château. I’m not sure how to keep it out, but I imagine we’ll be covering the windows in tin foil and nailing the doors shut. It’ll be like The Mist meets The Purge, only much less fun because we’ll be sealing the antagonist inside…
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Louis Catorze has completely lost the gnarled, world-weary look that made us worry that he might be on his way out. He is bright-eyed, plushy-furred, full of energy and unbelievably annoying. This change seemed to take place very suddenly, in the few days leading up to the spring equinox, almost as if he knew it…
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Some say that the Spring Equinox marks the first day of spring. For others, it’s 1st March (Meteorological Spring here in the UK) or even the last Sunday in March, the day that the clocks go forward. Cat people, however, know that spring is here when our furry overlords start spending more time outdoors and…
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Josh the fence-fixing man has been to fix our fence (obviously, since he’s a fence-fixing man), after it blew over in high winds. As he walked through our kitchen towards the patio doors, Josh commented on our ouija chopping board (a gift from one of Louis Catorze’s chat-sitteurs). Cat Daddy told him that we were…
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I have been a little worried about Louis Catorze these last few days and, when Cat Daddy asked me at what point we should take him to the vet, I knew that he was worried, too. As well as looking very thin, Catorze seemed to be moving around cautiously, as if his body were made…
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