louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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Any day that starts with being spat on HAS to get better, non? My alarm call this morning was Louis Catorze standing on my chest, screaming, followed by one of those shuddery full-body shakes that cats and dogs do. Because he can’t close his mouth fully on account of his protruding fangs, his shakes are…
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Black cats are psychopaths. Kittens are psychopaths. And multiple cats together bring out a gang psychopathy which wouldn’t have been present, or at least would have been significantly diluted, with just one cat. We all know this, right? Yet my sister (not the mamma of Otis and Roux, but the other sister) has just allowed…
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It’s the Easter holidays. I would usually introduce a holiday post with “Merci à Dieu” but, in this case, it’s also a couple of days before the start of Mercury Retrograde and I’m stuck at home for two weeks with Louis Catorze. So it’s more of a “Merde, merde and thrice merde” than a “Merci…
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How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals? My only goal in life is to sleep, and anyone who struggles to sleep will understand this. A good night’s sleep doesn’t simply make me feel better; it makes LIFE feel better. On those precious, rare days when I’ve slept well,…
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It’s official: Cat Daddy has banned the Spring Zing from Le Château. I’m not sure how to keep it out, but I imagine we’ll be covering the windows in tin foil and nailing the doors shut. It’ll be like The Mist meets The Purge, only much less fun because we’ll be sealing the antagonist inside…
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Louis Catorze has completely lost the gnarled, world-weary look that made us worry that he might be on his way out. He is bright-eyed, plushy-furred, full of energy and unbelievably annoying. This change seemed to take place very suddenly, in the few days leading up to the spring equinox, almost as if he knew it…
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Some say that the Spring Equinox marks the first day of spring. For others, it’s 1st March (Meteorological Spring here in the UK) or even the last Sunday in March, the day that the clocks go forward. Cat people, however, know that spring is here when our furry overlords start spending more time outdoors and…
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Josh the fence-fixing man has been to fix our fence (obviously, since he’s a fence-fixing man), after it blew over in high winds. As he walked through our kitchen towards the patio doors, Josh commented on our ouija chopping board (a gift from one of Louis Catorze’s chat-sitteurs). Cat Daddy told him that we were…
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I have been a little worried about Louis Catorze these last few days and, when Cat Daddy asked me at what point we should take him to the vet, I knew that he was worried, too. As well as looking very thin, Catorze seemed to be moving around cautiously, as if his body were made…
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Remember when Louis Catorze loved his new itchy cat treats? Yeah, well, now he doesn’t. The little sod ate the first couple with considerable enthusiasm, even though I’d just fed him, so I thought we were onto a winner. But it didn’t last. And, bizarrely, he doesn’t seem to have changed his mind about them;…
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Are you superstitious? I firmly believe that, if a black vampire cat comes your way, bad things will happen.
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Write a letter to your 100-year-old self According to those charts which convert human years to cat years, Louis Catorze will be a hundred years old in 2031. (And I know that, when Cat Daddy reads this, he will say that Catorze looks a hundred years old right now.) 2031 is actually not THAT far…
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Merci à Dieu: Louis Catorze’s course of ear drops is complete. And what fun it wasn’t. Poor Catorze. I don’t suppose he knew what came over me when, one minute, he’d be snoozing peacefully on my lap and, the next, I was turning his ears inside-out and shoving stuff into them. Warming the bottle of…
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When Jean-Paul Sartre said “Hell is other people”, he had obviously never put ear drops into the ears of a cat who really, really didn’t want them. Sartre ought to have known better – after all, he had a cat (famously named “Rien”, French for “nothing”). Obviously Simone de Beauvoir was the one who took…
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