Category: Uncategorized
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We have a new Prime Minister and a new government. They are by no means flawless, but we were at such a low that we would have happily accepted anyone. (Well, maybe not Donald Trump or Nigel Farage. Or Marine Le Pen. Anyone but those three.) One of the perks of being Prime Minister is…
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*WARNING: CONTAINS IMPLIED PENIS-CAUGHT-IN-ZIP INJURY REFERENCES. (Cat Daddy made me write that.)* Louis Catorze has just been for his steroid injection. It’s probably a little early, but we wanted to tick it off before going away on holiday. Having the jab makes him less likely to have skin problems, but it also makes him more…
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Since Cat-Disliking Friend is a science teacher, whenever I have a science question that I can’t be bothered to Google, I ask him. And, when I say, “May I ask you a science question?” his usual response is to roll his eyes and say, “It’s not about your cat again, is it?” Just before the…
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What are you most worried about for the future? If we’re talking about the short term, I worry about Louis Catorze misbehaving and being a massive shite. Long term … well, it’s the same thing. It’s the school holidays. And, naturellement, because this is Catorze, there has been trouble. Yes, ALREADY. I was sitting in…
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We have had to abandon Louis Catorze’s fancy Versailles drinking glasses and replace them with his old Bodum tumbler. And you are not going to believe this: the little sod is still spilling water. I came downstairs this morning to the tumbler standing amid a LAKE of water. He didn’t spill water from the tumbler…
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When the air is hotter than the surface of the sun, and you’re a black animal covered in fur, what better than to have humans skivvy around trying to find ways of keeping you cool? And, if they happen to work up a sweat doing so, tant pis pour eux. Louis Catorze used to like…
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It is 28°C right now. To British people, this is hotter than a thousand suns. And, naturellement, now is the time that my fur-covered pet, who ordinarily couldn’t give a shite whether I live or die, wants to cuddle me. At the beginning of the day, I thought Louis Catorze was dying. There was no…
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How was Louis Catorze’s summer solstice? Well, I wouldn’t know. I barely saw him because he was constantly out, with his activities varying from sunbathing to fox-goading to Rodent Duty. Oh yes, Rodent Duty. ‘Tis the season. Look at his silly little ears stood to attention: In other news: another day, another Zoom call ruined.…
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How do you waste the most time every day? Probably by reading and writing about cats, although I don’t consider it a waste. I consider it time well spent, especially when I read about cats who are bigger shites than mine. (Unbelievably, there are some out there.) I don’t know what is happening to the…
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It’s the summer solstice. Usually Cat Daddy and I would be doing something fun as it’s also our wedding anniversary, but I still have the last few dregs of Covid. So we will probably spend the day cooking separate meals and sitting in separate rooms instead. Meanwhile, Louis Catorze is out. As soon as Cat…
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How do you want to retire? Louis Catorze is, apparently, seventy-two in cat years, so he is well into retirement. However, nobody seems to have told him this. Or, if they have, he hasn’t listened. To outsiders, he still looks like a playful little kitten, doing all the other things that he did whilst younger:…
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Who do you spend the most time with? Merde, merde and thrice merde: I have Covid. In some ways I’m glad there is, at least, an explanation for why I feel so shite, and conducting the test in front of Cat Daddy soon put a lid on all his “Are you sure it’s not hay…
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Today is Fathers’ Day in the UK, and I have bought Cat Daddy this delightful gift: No doubt he will be absolutely furious, not just at the waste of money on “unsolicited cat tat”, as he puts it, but at the fact that I accidentally made his hair much greyer than it really is. This…
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What notable things happened today? Just the usual screaming. You know how it is. Furthermore, Louis Catorze’s screaming is getting worse. None of us ever thought this possible, but it’s happening. When I told Cat Daddy about the incident with the beautician, asking, “What on earth could have been wrong with him that day?”, Cat…
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