louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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Bastard cats. If it’s not yours being a massive shite, it’s someone else’s. There’s absolutely no respite from it. Blue the Smoke Bengal went missing the other day. He went out in the morning and then didn’t come home, which is unusual for him. His mamma was, understandably, very concerned, especially as calling, shaking his…
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What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year? To be honest, 2025 has been a bit of a shit circus for me and Cat Daddy, and we can’t wait to kick its sorry arse out of the door and welcome in 2026. Although my surgeries were a year ago, the…
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After showing zero concern for human food for all these years, Louis Catorze has decided that he’s now interested. He doesn’t usually eat any of the food (apart from that one fateful time which had huge repercussions for months afterwards); he just licks it and walks away. However, this makes it more annoying because then…
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Cat Daddy is away in New York at the moment, so it’s just me and Louis Catorze at Le Château. And the bullshittery started on the very first day of Cat Daddy’s absence, with Catorze thumping around late at night, sounding just like an adult human, then either being invisible or sitting eerily still when…
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Cat Daddy took Louis Catorze for his booster jabs not long ago. The trip there was the usual shit circus, with constant screaming on the journey there and in the waiting room. The vet was a new one who hadn’t seen Catorze before. When she attempted the injection with Catorze on the table, it didn’t…
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Do you or your family make any special dishes for the holidays? *WARNING: DO NOT ALLOW YOUR PETS TO SEE THIS POST.* When Louis Catorze was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism I was determined to be strict with his diet, allowing zero human food, in order to aid his recovery. However, now that he is chubbing up…
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We have had a few freezing cold days in London. There was even a brief flurry of snow on Thursday but this didn’t settle, due to the ground being too wet, much to my students’ disappointment. Just as the sun is retreating, the cold weather has drawn the mighty Sun King inwards, and the little…
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What are your favourite animals? Definitely cats. Oh, wait. Maybe not. Every now and again, I read something which reminds me that, actually, Louis Catorze isn’t the worst cat in the world. You cannot imagine the relief to find out that your cat is only moderately horrendous, as opposed to the absolute worst. A friend…
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Louis Catorze’s cat-cousins Rodan and Mothra have just been to the vet. It wasn’t the most fun visit, especially for my poor Nephew 1 who was pissed on by Rodan. (Mental note: NEVER travel to the vet with the transportation pod on your knees, unless said pod is made of the same sturdy, impermeable material…
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Do you trust your instincts? Fight, Flight or Freeze. That’s what they say living creatures are programmed to do, isn’t it, when faced with danger? Sadly I don’t think Louis Catorze received the memo; the silly sod wouldn’t know danger if it kicked him up the arse. I have witnessed his Fight, Flight and Freeze…
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What’s the first impression you want to give people? Well, that rather depends on what cats want at the time. It might be food, or love. Or they might just want to gaslight their humans for fun. On our local neighbourhood Facebook page, people often post to announce that a starving stray cat has just…
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Despite not really minding fireworks all these years – in fact, he once moved up the stairs to get a better view through the hallway window – Louis Catorze took exception to the ones that he heard on 5th November. These days, our social media feeds fill up with firework precautionary advice from as early…
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Remember Boots and his Chelsea collars? The silly sod never seemed to hold onto them for very long, losing them all around the neighbourhood. He managed to get through around 9,963 of them before the Chelsea Megastore finally ran out. That said, I’m sure that, if someone had put Chelsea accessories on me, I’d have…
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