louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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Think back on your most memorable road trip. This road trip didn’t actually happen because the surplus cat was busted beforehand. But, had the little sod got away with it, it would have been a hell of an adventure. Can you picture this scenario: travelling to the vet in the car, opening up the transportation…
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Cat Daddy and I have just spent the weekend with his sister and brother-in-law. Part of that involved sorting through boxes of their dad’s belongings, some of which dated back to before World War II. Among the war memorabilia, the books and the letters, we found this photo: We always knew that he was a…
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What is your mission? To annoy the merde out of as many people as possible, and to have a great time doing it. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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Apart from the snow – which was only the lightest dusting, and it didn’t last – my one wish for 2026 was for Louis Catorze to stop escaping out at The Front every night. I wanted it so much that even lit a candle and whispered my wish to the spirits of the Wolf Moon…
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What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life? At fifteen and a half, Louis Catorze has already lived a much longer life than anyone ever expected of him. However, it’s unlikely that he has any thoughts on it. In fact, I highly doubt that he even knows (or cares) what…
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What is the only thing worse than not getting a snow bomb as promised? Everyone else getting a snow bomb apart from you, that’s what. My mum and sisters each had a light scattering of snow, enough to make their surroundings look pretty and for the kids to make snow angels, but there hasn’t been…
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What is the greatest gift someone could give you? A bit of peace, just once in a while, would be nice. But there’s no chance of that in this house. I swear that that black cat who gatecrashed Stonehenge on the winter solstice ripped a gaping hole in the space-time continuum because, ever since then,…
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Happy New Year to you all, and I hope that you spent New Year’s Eve doing exactly what you wanted to do. We did: I went to bed early like an old lady, and Cat Daddy and Louis Catorze stayed up late for a special, extended Boys’ Club. After not minding fireworks, then disliking them,…
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This dark time of year is traditionally associated with rest and quiet introspection. However, for Louis Catorze, it’s time to play. Unfortunately, Cat Daddy and I don’t want to play, New Year or not, especially since one of us has just had the flu and the other is still dealing with a long-standing knee/hip/lower back…
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Whilst it wasn’t the worst Christmas in living memory, it wasn’t the best, either. I still have the dregs of the flu that has been plaguing me for a week, and on Christmas morning Cat Daddy started to feel under the weather, too. Cooking Christmas dinner felt like all twelve labours of Hercules at once,…
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As some wise person once said, “At Christmas time, to your enemy, give forgiveness; to your opponent, tolerance; and to cats, whatever the heck they want.” (At least I think it was something like that.) At this time of year we are taught to help others in need, especially those who turn up at our…
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Every year, thousands of people gather at Stonehenge in Wiltshire for sunrise on the shortest day of the year. This year, a very special guest joined them: Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs, one of the revellers brought their cat with them. Or maybe it just randomly turned up. Both options are hilarious, although the latter would…
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I managed to capture an uncharacteristically wistful Louis Catorze for his Official Yuletide* Portrait, which is very appropriate as the winter solstice is a time for calm reflection. It’s not often that we experience this feeling here at La Château, so we will gladly accept it despite it being highly misleading: *I had originally called…
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Writing about our departed pets on the winter solstice wasn’t something I’d planned to do regularly. However, last year a friend contacted me to ask if I’d be doing it again, having done it the previous year, because she would like me to feature her cat. So now, it seems, it has become a permanent…
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