louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Category: Uncategorized
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I’ve been home for almost a week now, and I’m feeling ok but its been quite hard. It’s amazing the little things you take for granted until you suddenly find you can’t do them. You know, standing up, sitting down, putting your socks on, those kinds of things. Louis Catorze continues to remind me that,…
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What is one thing that you would change about yourself? Louis Catorze says he’s perfectly fine as he is, merci for asking. He thinks it’s other people who ought to change THEIR inadequate selves, and most of them needn’t stop at just one thing. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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What are your feelings about eating meat? Meat? Meh (although Louis Catorze is partial to a bit of jambon de Bayonne). Fish? OH MON DIEU. This ear-bleeding din (below) was just a small part of what happened when I accidentally dropped a piece of tuna on the floor. I actually missed the loudest and most…
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Thank you to everyone who has sent me good wishes. I came home from hospital yesterday morning, which was quite a bit sooner than the three to five days usually anticipated. For all those people who said, “Louis Catorze will be so pleased to have you home”, look at this video: I told you, didn’t…
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I’m in hospital at the moment, having just had intense but standard (and planned) surgery. However, because they had to switch last-minute from The Simple Version to The Complicated Version of this particular procedure, I’m here for an extra night. Cat Daddy has been in to visit me. However, Louis Catorze hasn’t even noticed that…
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Cat Daddy took Louis Catorze for his booster vaccination at the weekend. And, when they weighed him, we discovered that he had dipped below the 3kg mark for the first time in his life. Catorze now tips the scales at a lighter-than-air 2.94kg and, for whatever reason, this has made me a little sad. The…
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Name your top three pet peeves. Will seven peeves do? With this many cats all creating havoc, there’s no way I’d be able to narrow it down to just three. Mercury Retrograde starts today. So, far from cats’ bull- and/or apeshittery calming down after last Friday’s full moon, it’s actually likely to get worse. This…
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I have decided to name the cacophonous composition below, “Hake in the Air Fryer”. However, having named it, I can’t decide whether its ought to be a classical piece or a rock anthem. If you watch the video, you will see that its different movements are very distinct, like Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (except that Louis…
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Oh. Mon. Dieu. Cat Daddy has just given Louis Catorze the leftover skin and fatty bits from our Michelin-starred hot-smoked salmon. The little sod is absolutely gorging himself senseless, like I’ve never seen him eat before. Obviously we weren’t going to eat those bits ourselves, so I’m glad they weren’t just thrown away. But, the…
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Do you trust your instincts? I run a paranormal club at school, and the kids who attend certainly trust their instincts. They’re nobody’s fools. Once a year, we play a game called Chocolate Fortune Telling. We ask a question which can be answered with a yes or a no, then draw a Lindor chocolate out…
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Cat Daddy and I escaped to the south coast on Saturday, leaving Louis Catorze in the care of Family Next Door, and I am writing this in the car on the way home. We had hoped for a bit of a break from feline bullshittery. We didn’t get one. The horror unfolded in our bedroom…
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What book are you reading right now? One of my friends gave me the this Classic Tales of Horror anthology for my birthday. Every non-work morning – because some of the stories are too long to read in the short time I have before going to work, and I couldn’t cope with the suspense of…
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Louis Catorze’s new favourite place is atop the trellis which would have held our honeysuckle plant, had it decided to actually grow properly. Bizarrely, Blue the Smoke Bengal has also recently decided that it’s his new favourite place. However, rather than surveying his kingdom, which is what Catorze does when he sits here, Blue is…
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Fair play to the good people of Felpreva, who replied very promptly to my email about Louis Catorze’s discoloured fur. These are the points that they made: Following application of any topical spot-on treatment, there is sometimes a powdery white residual left behind; although this is normally brushed away or wiped away with a damp…
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