Author: iamthesunking
-
The Bus of Misrule seems to be stopping off at every household but mine at the moment. I don’t know what’s in the air, but we’re going through an unsettling period of other cats being utter shits and mine behaving impeccably. After hearing curious crunching sounds, my sister caught Otis under the bed happily tucking…
-
Of which aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud? (Sorry, I changed the wording because I couldn’t handle the clunkiness of the original.) Louis Catorze is very proud of being a black cat with vampire teeth. This makes him astonishingly popular, with everyone – and I mean EVERYONE, kids and grown-ups alike –…
-
Cat Daddy and I have just flipped the mattress in the main bedroom. We’re supposed to do it every few weeks, apparently, but we’ve been a bit lazy and left it, erm, quite a bit longer than that. I felt that it was probably time to flip when I woke up with back pain every…
-
What things give you energy? It’s the autumn equinox tomorrow. You all know by now how much I look forward to this day although, this year, we started celebrating autumn on 1st September, the start of meteorological autumn, just to squeeze in more autumn fun. This is traditionally a time for honouring ageing deities. Louis…
-
Have you ever thought that, after over eleven years of putting up with living with your cat, you knew everything about them, only for them to do something to prove you wrong? Louis Catorze’s latest thing, something which he has never done before, is to sit on the warm spot left by someone who has…
-
Something strange is afoot here at Le Château: Boys’ Club appears to have disbanded. Or, at the very least, it’s taking a hiatus. And the reason for this is because Louis Catorze can’t get enough of me. I know. I KNOW. The little sod now seeks out MY lap in the evenings. He also comes…
-
When we first met Butthole, the Abhainn Dearg distillery cat, we assumed that he had either been in some sort of accident which had left his tail like that, or that he had a birth defect. It turns out that the first one isn’t true at all, and the second one is only half-true. He…
-
We have managed to solve the long-standing mystery of how Louis Catorze manages to come indoors with a parchment-dry body and a dripping wet tail. As well as drinking from his water glass, Catorze drinks from the rainwater that pools on our outdoor table. This makes it impossible to answer when the vet asks us…
-
What are you doing this evening? Having ignored me for much of the summer, now that temperatures are dropping (not by much, but we’ll take it), Louis Catorze seems to have remembered that I exist. So, hopefully, this evening I will be watching a horror film with him on my lap. Here he is, pictured…
-
What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you? Psychopathy and narcissism aren’t exactly brilliant traits. Why, then, do we tolerate them from cats? For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
-
The mousey saga at my sister’s house has come to an end, although neither Otis nor Roux did a single thing to bring about this resolution. The humans kept a bucket in the living room, with the intention of using it to catch the mouse in the unlikely event of seeing it scurrying around. Yes,…
-
The males of this household seem to be on sort of synchronised bullshittery mission at the moment. And I could really do without it. Cat Daddy let Louis Catorze out at The Front again the other night. Luckily, this time, I had managed to catch Catorze and administer his thyroid medication beforehand, so it wasn’t…
-
My sister and her family have been exiled from their own living room for several days now, due to an impinging mouse. The situation has not moved forward in the slightest since I posted about it last week. Louis Catorze’s cat-cousins Otis and Roux have failed to catch the mouse. Or, rather, Roux DID catch…
-
What brings a tear of joy to your eye? Here in the UK, autumn is coming early. Falling leaves and ripening berries are usually among the joys of September but, this year, because of our apocalyptically dry summer, we started seeing them as early as mid-August. I don’t want to like this, because I know…
louiscatorze.com 