louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
Author: iamthesunking
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When I came downstairs yesterday morning, Louis Catorze was out cold on the sofa in the kitchen. I talked to him, to make sure he was still alive, and he lifted his head and let out a breathy, feeble “Mwah”, before going back to sleep again. Don’t worry, he wasn’t ill. In fact, I knew…
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Cat Daddy was supposed to be away at a music festival this weekend but, because of his knee injury, he’s stuck here. I am trying to cheer him up by bringing a festival vibe to Le Château – listening to the bands that he would have seen at the festival, pouring him warm, flat beer…
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*It’s Partie 2 because this is the second time I’ve used this title. It’s clearly not the second time Louis Catorze has ever screamed. This is the face – and voice – of someone who has ignored me since I returned home after being out all morning, but who wants to be my friend now…
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What an absolute cirque de merde of a weekend we have just had. Cat Daddy had booked our car for an MOT at a service centre some distance from where we live now, yet not far from the first house that he and I shared together years ago. So our plan was to leave the…
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What are the most important things needed to live a good life? Caffeine, books and the love of a devoted cat. I’ll let you know when I find the last one. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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Le Blog is ten years old today. I can’t believe it; I never thought Louis Catorze would still be being a massive shite providing me with material, all these years after that very first post. Here are quatorze of my favourite Catorzian escapades from over the years, in no particular order: I hope that you…
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Describe your dream chocolate bar. Louis Catorze doesn’t eat chocolate. However, if he WERE chocolate, he would be a Montezuma’s Absolute Black 100% chocolate Easter egg: dark, pungent, and hollow inside. Yes, I know that the question specified a DREAM chocolate bar. Nobody said it had to be a good dream. For more Catorzian capers,…
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What jobs have you had? Louis Catorze would never knowingly work for a living. However, over the years, he has held the following posts at Le Château: Catorze continues to perform roles 1 to 4 on a regular basis. However, the fate of role 5 is in question as he hasn’t caught anything for some…
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When it’s 21°C outside and you’re a black animal covered in fur, you might feel like cooling down. Even if you’re a Sun King. Catorze sought out this thin strip of shade, about 15cm wide/long (depending on whether you’re a portrait or a landscape kind of person), underneath our outdoor table. He did his best…
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Most cats dribble whilst purring. However, with Louis Catorze, because of his protruding fangs which prevent his mouth from fully closing anyway, the problem is much worse. And, when he shakes his head after a massive purring session, it’s like monsoon season in the tropics. I’ve never had any photographic evidence of this, until now.…
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Cat Daddy checked the weather forecast and saw that it was about to rain, so he started bringing in the cushions from the outdoor sofa. However, Louis Catorze was lounged across two of them. (He’s a tiny cat so he fits perfectly well on one, but he always lies across two.) Me: “You can’t dislodge…
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What are you good at? Cat Daddy is a master at both photography and being a massive hypocrite: he has just typed “cat” into his iPhone photo library, and there were 2,615 results. Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs: the person who ridicules me for being obsessed with cats is almost as bad as me (I had…
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What personal belongings do you hold most dear? If you were to ask Boots, I bet he wouldn’t say “collars”. Anyone who knows about cats will, most likely, know about the Cat Distribution System. This is the idea that, when the planets are aligned in a particular way, the universe will send you a cat.…
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Miraculously, Louis Catorze has not scratched his wound and it’s healing nicely. I don’t know whether this means the stars are aligned in some magical way or the apocalypse is just around the corner but, frankly, I’d even take the latter if it meant not having to Cône him anymore. His eye area, although no…
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