Author: iamthesunking
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What are the most important things needed to live a good life? Caffeine, books and the love of a devoted cat. I’ll let you know when I find the last one. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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Le Blog is ten years old today. I can’t believe it; I never thought Louis Catorze would still be being a massive shite providing me with material, all these years after that very first post. Here are quatorze of my favourite Catorzian escapades from over the years, in no particular order: I hope that you…
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Describe your dream chocolate bar. Louis Catorze doesn’t eat chocolate. However, if he WERE chocolate, he would be a Montezuma’s Absolute Black 100% chocolate Easter egg: dark, pungent, and hollow inside. Yes, I know that the question specified a DREAM chocolate bar. Nobody said it had to be a good dream. For more Catorzian capers,…
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What jobs have you had? Louis Catorze would never knowingly work for a living. However, over the years, he has held the following posts at Le Château: Catorze continues to perform roles 1 to 4 on a regular basis. However, the fate of role 5 is in question as he hasn’t caught anything for some…
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When it’s 21°C outside and you’re a black animal covered in fur, you might feel like cooling down. Even if you’re a Sun King. Catorze sought out this thin strip of shade, about 15cm wide/long (depending on whether you’re a portrait or a landscape kind of person), underneath our outdoor table. He did his best…
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Most cats dribble whilst purring. However, with Louis Catorze, because of his protruding fangs which prevent his mouth from fully closing anyway, the problem is much worse. And, when he shakes his head after a massive purring session, it’s like monsoon season in the tropics. I’ve never had any photographic evidence of this, until now.…
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Cat Daddy checked the weather forecast and saw that it was about to rain, so he started bringing in the cushions from the outdoor sofa. However, Louis Catorze was lounged across two of them. (He’s a tiny cat so he fits perfectly well on one, but he always lies across two.) Me: “You can’t dislodge…
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What are you good at? Cat Daddy is a master at both photography and being a massive hypocrite: he has just typed “cat” into his iPhone photo library, and there were 2,615 results. Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs: the person who ridicules me for being obsessed with cats is almost as bad as me (I had…
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What personal belongings do you hold most dear? If you were to ask Boots, I bet he wouldn’t say “collars”. Anyone who knows about cats will, most likely, know about the Cat Distribution System. This is the idea that, when the planets are aligned in a particular way, the universe will send you a cat.…
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Miraculously, Louis Catorze has not scratched his wound and it’s healing nicely. I don’t know whether this means the stars are aligned in some magical way or the apocalypse is just around the corner but, frankly, I’d even take the latter if it meant not having to Cône him anymore. His eye area, although no…
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How do you balance work and home life? Luckily my work as a secondary school teacher acts as respite from being bullied/gaslit at home by a psychotic black cat. Were it not for being able to escape a few days a week and spend time with angst-ridden teenagers, I’d probably be sectioned or dead. For…
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The votes have been verified and counted, and I can now reveal that there is a tie for the choice of Boots’ new collar: I know that the above chart shows the St George’s Cross to be the winner. However, I took this screen shot before I set the poll to “one vote per computer”,…
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Our plan to keep Louis Catorze Côned for twenty-four hours hit a slight bump in the road when Cat Daddy and I realised that we would both be out of the house all day on Wednesday. Catorze is fearless, even when Côned, and has no hesitation in doing all the things guaranteed to kill him…
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I’m starting to wonder whether we should just give black cats one Cône to share between them because, as soon as one of them stops needing it, a different one does something stupid. If it’s not one, it’s another. Bastards, the lot of them. Cat Daddy and I went away on Friday, to different places,…
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