Have you ever thought that, after over eleven years of putting up with living with your cat, you knew everything about them, only for them to do something to prove you wrong? Louis Catorze’s latest thing, something which he has never done before, is to sit on the warm spot left by someone who has just vacated the sofa.
He even leaves laps to do this, which makes zero sense as the lap is obviously softer and warmer. And he does it in all weathers. Yes, even if it’s a raging Dantean hellfire outside.
It’s an endearing, sweet little quirk, despite being weird. However, the problem comes when he does this in the evening. A black cat + a dark sofa + dim lighting + a Cat Daddy who is a few glasses of wine under = you know where this is going, don’t you?
Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs: Cat Daddy has sat on Catorze three times in the last few weeks.
When it happened again last night, it was a good few seconds before Cat Daddy realised anything was amiss, because Catorze is too stupid to wriggle or scream to warn Cat Daddy of his predicament. However, he eventually realised and the squashed little sod was released, running straight outside.
Cat Daddy was absolutely distraught and made me follow his boy outside to make sure that he wasn’t lying in a crumpled heap somewhere, gasping his last breath. He wasn’t. He was pitter-pattering around the garden and, when he saw me, he started screaming, so I took that to mean he was ok.
This is what it looks like when it happens. Luckily, this time, Catorze was able to move in time before the full weight of Cat Daddy’s arse hit him:
Humans with Chats Noirs: check under yourselves before you sit down in the dark. Or even NOT in the dark. If you think your cat is clever enough to move before being sat on, you may be giving them a little too much credit.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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