I have just caught Louis Catorze chewing on the flip-top lid of a water bottle.
It’s not often that Cat Daddy and I buy single use water bottles, as we prefer refillable bottles, but I was caught out on a hot day when I’d forgotten to bring water, so I had to pop into Planet Organic and buy some.
We have often brought home half-drunk bottles of water, left them lying round, then finished drinking much later. And it pains me deeply to know that we could have been wrapping our chops around Catorzian spit at any, or all, of those times.
To all the cat people reading this and saying, “It’s only a bit of cat spit”, just stop it. Would you rather eat cat spit, or NOT eat cat spit?
Anyway, no, I did not give the water to Catorze; had I done so, he would have started refusing regular tap water and gone on thirst strike until I provided him with a regular supply Actiph alkaline ionised water at £1.49 for 600ml. The water was gifted to Cat Daddy’s tomato plants outside, and I thanked God and all his angels above that this wasn’t any worse: I once caught Catorze’s big brother Luther chewing on my electric toothbrush, in the place where I had left it charging up a zillion times before.
How many more ways can they create, to annoy the merde out of us? And, no, that wasn’t supposed to be a challenge.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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