louiscatorze.com
Je crie, donc je suis
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about
Month: Jun 2025
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When it’s a Dantean hellfire outside, what could be more fun than dragging a scowling animal, in the car, to a place that he really hates? Cat Daddy and I had hoped to delay this vet visit until just before our holiday, but Louis Catorze has been uncomfortably scratchy, to the point of breaking the…
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This is Willow, whose human brother was, until last week, one of my students: For the last three years I have seen photos of Willow, and she was even mentioned in her human brother’s French speaking exam, in what would otherwise have been quite a boring task to conduct. (“Je voudrais réserver une table pour…
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How important is spirituality in your life? We know that hell is real. We also know that the devil walks among us, cloaked in fur of deepest black. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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How do you practise self-care? When it’s a raging Dantean hellfire outside, and you are a black animal covered in fur, you may find it difficult to keep cool. What a stroke of luck, then, that ice cube massages are a thing. If you don’t know what they are, they’re exactly as they sound. And…
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Yesterday was the summer solstice, one of our favourite days of the year. Whilst most of the northern hemisphere will have marked the day with celebration, here at Le Château it’s war, and the avian army have placed a bounty on Louis Catorze’s head. Now, you’d imagine that, if your cat didn’t like the local…
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Louis Catorze’s summer mode has been activated. Well, it’s been Catorzian Summer Time for a little while now, to be honest; it hasn’t just happened now, in time for the summer solstice. But he has just stopped eating breakfast, a classic sign that his body clock has changed. This is partly because he’s naturally unhungry…
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Living with such a weird cat as Louis Catorze means that we are often asking, “Why?” We ask him. We ask ourselves. Sometimes we even ask the mysterious, invisible forces that control the universe. Sadly, we are yet to receive any kind of answer. We ought to be used to this by now yet, a…
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When I came downstairs yesterday morning, Louis Catorze was out cold on the sofa in the kitchen. I talked to him, to make sure he was still alive, and he lifted his head and let out a breathy, feeble “Mwah”, before going back to sleep again. Don’t worry, he wasn’t ill. In fact, I knew…
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Cat Daddy was supposed to be away at a music festival this weekend but, because of his knee injury, he’s stuck here. I am trying to cheer him up by bringing a festival vibe to Le Château – listening to the bands that he would have seen at the festival, pouring him warm, flat beer…
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*It’s Partie 2 because this is the second time I’ve used this title. It’s clearly not the second time Louis Catorze has ever screamed. This is the face – and voice – of someone who has ignored me since I returned home after being out all morning, but who wants to be my friend now…
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What an absolute cirque de merde of a weekend we have just had. Cat Daddy had booked our car for an MOT at a service centre some distance from where we live now, yet not far from the first house that he and I shared together years ago. So our plan was to leave the…
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What are the most important things needed to live a good life? Caffeine, books and the love of a devoted cat. I’ll let you know when I find the last one. For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
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Le Blog is ten years old today. I can’t believe it; I never thought Louis Catorze would still be being a massive shite providing me with material, all these years after that very first post. Here are quatorze of my favourite Catorzian escapades from over the years, in no particular order: I hope that you…
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Describe your dream chocolate bar. Louis Catorze doesn’t eat chocolate. However, if he WERE chocolate, he would be a Montezuma’s Absolute Black 100% chocolate Easter egg: dark, pungent, and hollow inside. Yes, I know that the question specified a DREAM chocolate bar. Nobody said it had to be a good dream. For more Catorzian capers,…
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