What was the last thing you did for play or fun?
We have a winner in our Feline Tree-Destroying Race. However, although we have narrowed it down to a household, we still don’t know which cat was the guilty party. So it’s possible that both defendants may have to be acquitted.
Here is the main piece of evidence presented by the prosecution:
Now, if you zoom in on Otis’s face, he certainly looks sheepish, as if he has something to hide. But the defence would like to point out that, when this photo was taken, he had just been de-flead and had slithered under the tree to express his displeasure. The ornament and string of lights were already like that when he took refuge in his sulking spot, and nobody knows who was responsible.
Therefore we cannot prove, beyond all reasonable doubt, that Otis did it, nor that his sister, Roux, DIDN’T do it. Case dismissed.
In somewhat related news, on Wednesday morning, not long after the Otis-or-Maybe-Roux incident and a few hours before our tree arrived, I came downstairs to this:
Our interim mini-tree, which has sat happily in the hearth for days, was down – and, because holly berries are not exactly the best thing for cats*, I was then on my hands and knees, desperately sweeping up. Clearly the fact that we didn’t yet have a tree wasn’t going to deter Louis Catorze from felling a tree.
Anyway, our main tree is finally here, and Catorze struck gold when it turned out that the nice delivery gentleman loved cats. He described a purring, flirting Catorze as “very chatty” (yup) and an “absolute angel” (ahem), and he was genuinely sad to have to tear himself away to do his next delivery. If your tree was late, you know whose fault that is.
Putting up the lights and decorations would have been no problem – and quite fun, in fact – with two fully-operational hands. It was considerably more difficult with just one, and we all know whose fault that is, too.
Now, let’s see how long it can last.
*Catorze can be trusted not to eat berries so we can have holly in the house, once a year. Plus there is holly in the garden, and in many of our neighbours’ gardens, and he hasn’t come a-cropper yet. However, if your cat is a muncher, or even if you’re not sure, play safe and avoid.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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