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Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil, supreme ruler of Le Château, sworn enemy of canine foe and scourge of Ocado delivery drivers.

Ni manger, ni vivre (Partie 20) 

Part 20. Oh. Mon. Dieu. 

What triggers Louis Catorze more than a room with Michelin-starred hot-smoked salmon in it? A room WITHOUT Michelin-starred hot-smoked salmon in it, it seems.

Now that our mealtimes have been irreparably ruined, we are forced to shut ourselves away if we want to eat fish. Catorze screams and batters at the door like an angry poltergeist, making us bolt our meal down at lightning speed. However, both this AND the indigestion that ensues are still better than trying to eat with him in the same room. 

After we’ve finished, we let him in. A foolproof plan, non? 

Well … non. A room that smells of hot-smoked salmon yet doesn’t appear to contain any – phantom salmon, if you will – is a zillion times more frustrating than seeing the salmon but not being allowed to have any. 

Apologies for the state of the room. But I’ll live with everyone witnessing my slatternliness, just to be able to show the world what happens when Catorze enters a room that once had hot-salmon in it, but doesn’t anymore: 

Holy heck.

For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com

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25 responses to “Ni manger, ni vivre (Partie 20) ”

  1. mcmcneil1 avatar
    mcmcneil1

    Even to the puny olfactory senses of a human, hot smoked salmon would be rather pungent – for the heightened sense of a kitty it must be as if the scent molecules were literally bouncing around the room and banging into his nose.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Indeed, and long after it’s been removed from the room too!

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  2. M - avatar
    M –

    The little “ugh” at the very end of his whines crack me up.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Yes, it’s as if he forgets to breathe during the scream and then suddenly remembers!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Kate Crimmins avatar
    Kate Crimmins

    He is clearly starving!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Did he tell you that?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Kate Crimmins avatar
        Kate Crimmins

        Yes he did. Look at that sweet little face!

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          He’s lying! Don’t believe him!

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
  4. mmechapeau avatar
    mmechapeau

    I sympathise with you. The video is impressive, but it doesn’t show Louis looking for salmon. He is only screaming where is it? Where is it. Did he search seriously before yelling at you?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Not a full CSI search, no. He just glanced around a bit. 🤣

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  5. Herman avatar
    Herman

    Please, don’t stop feeding that hungry cat… 😹

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Who told you he was hungry? Was it him? 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. alicephilippa avatar
    alicephilippa

    The poor dear is wasting away. He needs some hot smoked salmon stat.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Don’t listen to his lies!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. alicephilippa avatar
        alicephilippa

        The Graet Cat Conspiracy informs me (via Baggy (the feline dustbin)) that he’s not lying.

        Liked by 1 person

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        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          Don’t trust Baggy! He’s a double-agent!

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          1. alicephilippa avatar
            alicephilippa

            I don’t know about a double agent more like a complete arse. This morning he tried to bite me, the vet and a vet nurse. Then he threw up in his carrier.

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
            1. iamthesunking avatar
              iamthesunking

              Oh no! 😢😢😢

              Like

  7. sevencatsandcounting avatar
    sevencatsandcounting

    Oh my goodness! He is letting you have it!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      You SEE what I have to put up with?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. cat9984 avatar
    cat9984

    Maybe you should get him his own koi pond. Having his own fish might distract him from yours

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      One of our childhood neighbours had a koi pond. We also had cats. My mum was forever walking round there with a bucket of water, returning their fish.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. cat9984 avatar
        cat9984

        Probably no the best solution. You’d just end up with more hungry cats

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  9. Penny Cooper avatar
    Penny Cooper

    Hey there young lady, I’m sorry I’ve been dazzled by souch on my mind and emails and general confusion with life that today is the first chance to read everything you’ve done since 5th December, this might not seem that much to you but to me it’s felt like I’ve been ignoring you for months! At last I have treated myself to a Catorze fest and it feelsike I’ve read a short novel! Firstly I hope you’re surgery has gone well and apologise that I hadn’t sent you a get well message, so now I’m wishing you a belated Get well and hope you escape his lordship’s aggravation as soon as possible and however much you wish to escape. So hard tottering around drugged up and trying to keep a balance without a naughty boy playing trip up outside the bathroom, did he move just as you went to step over?? I bet he meant to! And now to that fishy nagging behaviour! Well what a strange emphasis he places at the end of his meows, like a voice foot stamp to make sure you ‘understand-D just-T how-W P-pissed-D off-F I-Iyy am-M with-H you-EW and be assured I know none of it is Cat Daddy’s fault because he has given me some and it’s only you being around that means I’m shut out while you piggy gobble your way through it’!!

    There I’m now up to date xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Quite a few people have commented on that weird sound at the end of each scream. I’d noticed it (obviously – pretty hard not to!) but I’d assumed most cats did it. Apparently not!

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