A couple of days ago, I had an online meeting with a student from my school. Usually I would not advocate working when on sick leave but, because this student needed help, and because he is super-nice, I was happy to do it.
As you know, Louis Catorze loves nothing more than to annihilate online meetings, especially if the other participants are male. However, at the time of the meeting, he decided to go gadding about outside, so I assumed that the celestial powers that be must have been on my side, and I happily accepted it without argument.
The student and I spent about fifteen minutes talking about work, then I asked him whether his dog, a chestnut-coloured miniature Dachshund, was looking forward to Christmas. (Apparently she is, and her humans have bought her her own advent calendar.) He asked me about Catorze, too, and I replied, “He was racing around going absolutely psycho earlier this morning, but luckily he’s gone out now.”
OH DEAR GOD, WHY WAS I SO STUPID? It’s still Mercury Retrograde, after all. And we’re approaching both Friday 13th and a full moon. The celestial powers that be were never going to be on my side at such a time.
Within seconds of my magic words breaking the spell, the door swung open and the screaming started. And, because of my post-surgical state, I was too slow in leaning over to shut the door again.
Catorze: “Mwah!”
Me: “Oh God.”
Student: “Miss! It’s your cat!”
Catorze: “Mwah!”
Me: “Yes. To be honest I’m surprised we lasted that long before he interrupted us.”
Student: “Can I meet him?”
[I tilt the camera so that he can see the little sod better.]
Student: “Hello, Miss’s Cat!”
Catorze: “Mwahhhhhh!”
Eventually the screaming stopped, only to be replaced by him, silently and just off-camera, digging his claws into my arm every few seconds.
The rest of the meeting went like this:
Me: “Blah blah Chemistry revision OUCH.”
Student: “He’s just done it again, hasn’t he?”
Me: “Yes. Anyway, blah blah Maths exam OUCH.”
Student: “He’s just done it again, hasn’t he?”
And, naturellement, the moment the call ended, Catorze decided that he no longer wanted my attention and burrowed into his igloo, where he slept quietly for the next five hours.
Hark: do I hear a wave of “shocked, but not surprised” rippling through the nation?
Meanwhile, I’m stuck with him for another few weeks. I know. I KNOW.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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