Thank you to everyone who has sent me good wishes. I came home from hospital yesterday morning, which was quite a bit sooner than the three to five days usually anticipated.
For all those people who said, “Louis Catorze will be so pleased to have you home”, look at this video:
I told you, didn’t I? In fact, I’ve been saying it for ages: he couldn’t give a shite whether I live or die.
Even before I came home there was drama galore, because Chris the heating engineer came over that morning. Some of you may remember this bizarre incident, which took place during one of his previous visits and which still remains the talk of some of my Spooky Club students.
Cat Daddy went to the bakery for a few minutes, leaving Chris and Catorze alone together. When he returned, he heard the infernal racket as soon as he walked in. Catorze was all over Chris, screaming his guts out and not letting him get on with his work.
Rather worryingly, Chris didn’t say, “Your cat is so sweet”, “Your cat is annoying the shit out of me” or any such thing. HE JUST SAID NOTHING.
Anyway, whatever was wrong with the boiler is now fixed, the house is warm, and Catorze is on my lap looking disdainfully at me. I wondered whether it was because I smelt all hospitally, but then he was disdainful anyway, even before I went in.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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