Tumble out of bed and I stumble to the kitchen
Time to stop my feline from itching
I yawn and stretch and give Catorze a squeeze
Open the box and pull out the vial
Try to apply but miss by a mile
Why’ve chumps like me got to bust those ticks and fleas?
Busting ticks and fleas, what a way to spend a morning
It should be a breeze, but it sends my heart rate soaring
Someone help me please, try again but I keep missing
It's enough to have him hollering and hissing
Ticks and fleas, don’t want an infestation
Everyone agrees it’s a nightmare situation
There’s no guarantee that Catorze will let this happen
I swear sometimes he hates me with a passion
He lets me try just to watch me blunder
Why do I bother, I often wonder
There’s ointment everywhere but on the cat
If I succeed, then I’ve just gotta hope
He won’t rub it off all over my clothes
‘Cause that stain will outlast the apocalypse, and that’s a fact
Busting ticks and fleas, what a way to spend a morning
I’m now on my knees scrubbing down the wooden flooring
Won’t you help me please, this cat’s stronger than a lion
It's enough to have me throwing up and crying
Ticks and fleas, yeah, he’s got us where he wants us
There is no reprieve when he bullies and he taunts us
It’s a thankless task, I’m so tempted to say “Screw it”
Maybe next time round Cat Daddy ought to do it
[Repeat last chorus until you successfully treat your cat or until s/he commands the forces of darkness against you, whichever happens first.]
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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