We have had to start shutting Louis Catorze, or ourselves, in the front room during meal times, so that we can eat without being headbutted and screamed at. I have complained to many fellow cat freaks about this, and I have been met with little-to-no sympathy on account of the fact that their cats have all been doing this for years.
Friend 1: “Oh yes, I have to do that with my cat.” [She then went on to talk about something else.]
Friend 2: “Oh yes, we’ve ALWAYS had to do that with our cats. [She also went on to talk about something else.]
Friend 3: “You’re lucky you’ve only just started having to do this. You managed to get away with it for all those years.”
Well, thank you.
The only friend who has had a shred of sympathy is Cat-Disliking Friend, although his help has been in the form of suggesting horrible-tasting things that I can give to Catorze to teach him a lesson. His latest suggestion was painting scraps of food with that stuff that you apply to your nails to stop biting them. “If it’s fit for human consumption then it must be ok for cats, right?” Ahem.
What a cirque de merde this is. At least Cat-Disliking Friend is enjoying himself in his science laboratory*, cackling away as he magics up another batch of cat poison.
*I’m not joking: he’s a science teacher, so he has an actual laboratory at his disposal.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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