*WARNING: CONTAINS TALK OF DEATH AND GENERAL CREEPINESS.*
A few days ago, Cat Daddy was watching television in the kitchen when Louis Catorze raced past him and clattered out through the cat flap. It turned out that there was a much larger (but then all cats are much larger than Catorze) tuxedo cat in the garden, and Sa Maj wasn’t happy about this. After staring at each other for a few seconds, the impinger turned tail and ran.
The weird thing was that Catorze hadn’t been sitting with Cat Daddy in the kitchen, so he couldn’t possibly have seen the impinger. In fact, not even Cat Daddy, with the higher eye line, had been able to see him without standing up. Catorze had run from the direction of the living room at the front of the house so, somehow, all the way from there, he had sensed that the perimeters of his Château had been breached.
We’ve had two cars since we’ve lived with Catorze, and he knew the sound of each. He even knows the sound of Cat Daddy’s KEYS.
I think that this heightened sense of creepy kitty sixth sense, not to mention his extra sensitivity to the full moon, would make him an ideal cadaver cat – if, indeed, he would agree to work for a living.
If, like me, you watch so many serial killer films and documentaries that the police would have something to say about your Prime Video account, you will know about cadaver DOGS. These clever doggies are used to sniff out whether a dead body has been in a particular place, and they are so good at their job that they can detect this both from surfaces and from the air.
In the US, they don’t even call them “dogs”; they call them “K9 officers”. I guess “K9 officer number 283” sounds better than “Woofy Boi-Boi” when it comes to writing up reports of what happened.
My thoughts naturally turned to whether cadaver cats could ever be a thing – after all, they are just as perceptive as dogs. I think Catorze would be an excellent cadaver cat; all those big, strapping policemen to cuddle, plus sniffing out death is right up his rue.
But how he might tell us of the presence of a body?
Would he creepy-stare at us? Or at the spot itself, as if looking at a ghost? And could we rely on him to only do the creepy death-stare when there was a genuine need, and not at random, inopportune moments just to freak us out?
If you are too scared to know what The Sign might look like, look away now.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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