Saint Jésus, Marie et Joseph, et le petit âne: Louis Catorze just went for a piece of smoked Comté on our cheese board, RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. Furthermore I’m ashamed to admit that this happened right in front of Cat Daddy and me, and we were too slow to stop it.
No, we weren’t drunk. Well, ok, Cat Daddy was a bit, but I had no excuse. We were so deeply engrossed in the television that it took us a good ten seconds to notice that we were under attack. Ten seconds may not sound like long, but it was plenty of time for Catorze to lick the slab of cheese all over.
Cat Daddy: “Louis! Oh my God, what a ****!”
He grabbed Catorze, plucked him off the cheese board with one hand like one of those fairground claw machines, then took a knife and cut away what he believed to be the cat-spitty area of cheese.
I told him there was no way on earth of knowing which bits were cat-spitty and which weren’t, so we might as well throw the whole lot away. Cat Daddy then tossed the cut-away piece of cheese to Catorze, who, having established that he had ruined it for us, decided that his work was done and that he no longer wanted it.
What is happening? What evil force is making my once-unmotivated-by-food cat suddenly turn into such a scavenging shite?
Here he is, feigning innocence and pretending to be a nice cat who doesn’t steal food. We all know the truth.
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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