Cat Daddy was stuck behind a bus in a traffic jam the other day, and this ad caught his attention:
I can’t think of anything more fun than observing such a thing. We don’t have a dog but, whilst I figure out how to get one just for the day, I have many questions about this place. Most of them could be answered by Googling it, I’m sure. But it’s more fun just to pointlessly ponder them, non? (Fun for me, I mean. Probably not for you.)
- Is there a list of Pool Rules?
- Do dogs have to shower first, and/or walk through one of those foot bath things?
- Do dogs have armbands? (On all four limbs or just the front ones?)
- Is there a lifeguard? (And are they human or canine?)
- What happens if your dog starts a fight? Do you, as the Responsible Human, have to wade in and stop it?
There are also the predictable, low-brow questions involving, erm, the bathroom situation. But, just as it’s ultimately humans who are responsible for dogs toileting where they shouldn’t, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that humans are the only creatures who would think to use a swimming pool as a toilet.
As ever, this spurred my brain to think about an equivalent place for cats. Obviously a pool wouldn’t work, since cats – apart from Louis Catorze and those Turkish Van cats – hate water. Is there a type of place where they could go and mingle with like-minded felines and indulge in a fun activity? What do cats even like to do? Despite having lived with them since the age of ten, I still don’t know.
I wonder if any of the following ideas would work:
- A mouse pit, which is exactly as it sounds: just chuck the cats in and let them fill their boots.
- A shisha lounge, with feline patrons huffing catnip from a hookah on a table before knocking the hookah to the floor.
Sadly, my vision of being a spectator at a doggy swimming gala seems as unlikely as that of creating either of the above places for cats. Disco the dog doesn’t like water so it’s a nope from him. And Puppy Mamma says I can take Nala and Gizzy but she refuses to come with me – as in, I WOULD BE THE SOLE RESPONSIBLE HUMAN – so it’s a nope from me.
Meanwhile, Catorze will await the launch of a men-only cuddle club. If nobody has invented such a thing yet, he’ll just wait here until someone does:
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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