*WARNING: CONTAINS IMPLIED PENIS-CAUGHT-IN-ZIP INJURY REFERENCES. (Cat Daddy made me write that.)*
Louis Catorze has just been for his steroid injection. It’s probably a little early, but we wanted to tick it off before going away on holiday. Having the jab makes him less likely to have skin problems, but it also makes him more annoying. So … swings and roundabouts, an’ all that.
Naturellement there was a morning of me trying to Act Normal (it didn’t work: HE KNEW) and then the customary screaming as I tried to shove him into his transportation pod. It’s quite astounding the way a 3kg cat can develop the strength of ten angry bears when you try to make him do something he doesn’t want to do. And, somehow, in the chaos, I managed to get his tail caught in the zip of his pod.
I didn’t think anything could make a trip to the vet worse than it already was. However, this did. Luckily I managed to free it, and Catorze seems to be unharmed. Having to ask the vet to unzip the zipped tail would have been mortifying (yet probably still not up there in my top ten embarrassing vet visits).
Cat Daddy later winced and crossed his legs when I told him this.
When we arrived at the practice, I was greeted by a most jarring sight: a dog (Bella the Border terrier) sitting in the Cat Area and a cat (Heera the long-haired Calico) sitting in the Dog Area.
I KNOW. I’ll pause for a second to give you time to take in this disconcerting information.
As you can imagine, this completely threw me into a tailspin. Should I sit with the cat as a sign of solidarity, or with the dog to demonstrate my ability to read and respect signs?
Eventually I went for the latter. Catorze then started screaming at the dog, so I had to move.
The screaming continued. Bella the Border terrier didn’t so much as flick an ear, and I then found out that she was deaf. Heera the long-haired Calico also didn’t react, and just lay in her Cat Daddy’s arms staring at Catorze and looking appalled.
The little sod has gained a whole 80g (almost a whole bar of Green and Black’s chocolate) since the last visit, which has shocked us to the core because we thought he’d lost weight. But this is good news.
Anyway, Le Roi has certainly recovered from his trauma, as I had a big fat mouse brought to the bedroom yesterday morning. Let’s hope that the Catorzian tail doesn’t develop some sort of delayed blood flow issue, going limp and dropping off just as we’re about to leave.
Seriously. It won’t … will it?
For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com
louiscatorze.com 
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