louiscatorze.com

The only thing more embarrassing than having a black cat with bright white ears, is other people knowing that you have a black cat with bright white ears. So, naturellement, the last time that I applied Louis Catorze’s ear sunblock, he escaped out at The Front when I put some recycling out.

I didn’t even realise until I heard feline screaming and people talking. I was completely torn as to what to do: leaving him out there would ensure maximum street-embarrassment, but then if I called him in, everyone would know he was my cat (and there was no guarantee that he’d come in anyway).

In the end I opened the door and pretended (!) to put more recycling out, at which point he ran in having only shown himself up in front of a couple of people. Not great, but could have been much worse.

However, Catorze wasn’t done there. That evening, I had a Zoom call with a group of people whom I hadn’t met before. You know how this is going to play out, don’t you?

There I was, settled comfortably and listening intently to the person who was leading the call, when he appeared. Astonishingly, he didn’t make a sound and, instead, just walked across the camera field from right to left, then left to right, over and over again, brushing his up-tail against my face as he went.

Eventually the back and forth became ridiculous, so I had to pluck him off one-handedly (easy to do as he’s so gossamer-light) and place him to one side. That was when he screamed, startling everyone on the call and having one person say, “That sounded like a baby!”

Nobody commented on the bright white ears. I guess they must have either thought they were naturally like that, or that I painted them for fun.

Curiously, the little sod did settle down after that, lying on my lap and appearing to concentrate on the voice of the main speaker. It seems to be that, when women are speaking, he shuts up. But, when it’s men (or boys), he runs riot.

I don’t suppose that comes as a surprise to anyone.

Here he is, gadding about on his outdoor sofa, with the bright white ears on display. You can even see the smears where he’s tried to roll off the sunblock onto some surface or other:

For more Catorzian capers, please visit http://louiscatorze.com