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Je crie, donc je suis

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Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil, supreme ruler of Le Château, sworn enemy of canine foe and scourge of Ocado delivery drivers.

Month: May 2024

  • La douleur passe, la beauté reste

    Earlier this week, the beautician came over for a waxing and massage appointment. Louis Catorze has had some lively interactions with her in the past and, now that he is used to her, that’s where I thought any nonsense would remain: IN THE PAST. Catorze, however, had other ideas. He was conspicuously absent during the…

  • Les aventures de Sigrid

    What better way to spend a half term break than accidentally meeting celebrity cats? Cat Daddy and I met up with some friends, who also happen to be fellow Chat Noir hostages, and, after lunch, we went for a short walk along the river as it was a lovely day. And we just happened to…

  • Profiter du soleil

    What are you good at? Not applying cat sunblock, that’s for sure. This is the face – or, rather, the rear end – of someone who has just fought like an absolute demon to try and prevent me from applying his sunblock on his ears: My friend, who is a dog person: “Does he NEED…

  • Le pouvoir de la lune

    When I opened the door the other night to put out some recycling, Louis Catorze slalomed between my ankles and shot out. I know: standard Catorze. However, I had forgotten that it was a full moon that night. So, when Cat Daddy and I, on separate occasions, tried to corral him back in, there was…

  • Les rayons du soleil

    Louis Catorze’s ears are starting to go bald again. This happened a few years ago, for no reason whatsoever, and the vet was unable to provide any answers. Then the fur grew back again, so we didn’t bother pursuing it any further (not that we would have known what to do, had we wished to…

  • La souffrance ne se repose jamais

    Cat Daddy is away in New York at the moment, so it’s just me and Louis Catorze at Le Château. Usually, when Cat Daddy is out, Catorze ramps up the bad behaviour, only to morph back into a placid, impeccably-behaved kitty when his papa returns. Predictably, he is doing exactly that now, except this time…

  • Le cristal royal (Partie 3)

    I have managed to record Louis Catorze drinking from the tall tumbler version of the Versailles wine glass. (Yes, I bought him TWO birthday glasses, so that he would have one if the other were in the wash.) The angle is weird and it’s not the clearest footage because I had to film it from…

  • Le chemin du Citron

    List your top 5 favourite fruits. Will one fruit do? We had a visitor to Le Château the other day, as you can see below. And, before you ask what on earth this has to do with fruit, our guest’s name is Lemon. I’m not joking. Lemon may look like a fine specimen of velvety…

  • Vivre la vie d’un roi

    What’s one small improvement you can make in your life? Louis Catorze thinks his life is perfectly delightful as it is, merci for asking. He thinks it’s the rest of us who need to improve OUR pathetic lives, and that we should do so as follows: 1. Give the cat whatever they want. 2. See…

  • La musique nous permet de nous entretenir avec l’au-delà

    We all know how much Louis Catorze hates the sound of the guitar. However, poor Catorze hates the guitar even when it’s not being played. In fact, he hates it so much that, when Cat Daddy picked it up the other day to move it to one side, the little sod ran for the hills.…

  • L’espace, c’est le luxe absolu

    I’m glad to report that there have been no more mice since my last-but-one post. However, Louis Catorze did wake me at 5am one morning to proudly deliver me a piece of flaked almond. I know. Anyway, in other news, remember my blissful morning ritual of sipping green tea whilst Catorze sleeps on my lap?…

  • There’s a dog in mi Château, what am I gonna do?

    Louis Catorze welcomed a friend during the bank holiday weekend. Well, when I say “welcomed”, I don’t really mean that. In fact, “friend” may be something of a stretch, too. If you are a long-term follower of Le Blog, you will know that relations between Catorze and Oscar the dog next door were, erm, somewhat…

  • Des souris et des hommes (Partie 2)

    I have just arrived home after the football. In the time it took me to go upstairs, take off my make-up and change my clothes, Louis Catorze managed to produce a mouse from somewhere and place it in the usual trophy cabinet at the bottom of the stairs. When I came back downstairs he was…

  • Les quatorze ans de Catorze

    Thank you to everyone who kindly sent birthday wishes to Louis Catorze. (Those who didn’t shall be sent to the guillotine.) The little sod had a magnificent day, consisting of the following activities: 1. Waking me during 5am parkour/singalong. 2. Following Cat Daddy around all day, screaming for attention and headbutting aggressively if it wasn’t…