I have been a little worried about Louis Catorze these last few days and, when Cat Daddy asked me at what point we should take him to the vet, I knew that he was worried, too.
As well as looking very thin, Catorze seemed to be moving around cautiously, as if his body were made of brittle glass about to snap. Cat Daddy commented that he looked like “a wizened old man”, and it was true. In fact, worse than that, his face looked like one of those shrunken heads that you get on display on fortune tellers’ shelves – not that I have actually been to any such fortune tellers, but you know the kind of thing I watch on TV.
Anyway, I shouldn’t have worried because, the night before I had to go into school early to meet a student, the little sod snapped out of it. He was an utter pest all night, clambering all over me, headbutting me and screaming. Oh yes, full-on screaming; the gentle, closed-mouth whine which was his favoured communication during the night, is now a thing of the past.
I even had a recurring dream that night about cats trapped atop a mountain and screaming to be rescued. In fact, there were no trapped cats: it was him. And the mountain was me.
There is nothing wrong with him, and there never was. And, quite literally overnight, he lost that weird shrunken head look, started moving with more fluidity and became a normal* cat**.
*By his standards.
**Still subject to debate.
What an absolute con artist he is, and how stupid I was to fall for his lies.
The spring equinox is fast approaching. If he’s acting like he’s on amphetamines right now, what will he be like when his spring zing has fully kicked in?
louiscatorze.com 
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