Our Cat-Disliking Friend came for dinner again at the weekend. And, since he has just moved to the area permanently, I expect we will be seeing more of him.
When I told him about Le Blog, and about the fact that refer to him as Cat-Disliking Friend, he revealed that he does actually like individual cats, and finds them “soothing” company, but just doesn’t like it when they shit in his garden. When I reminded him that at least cats have the grace to bury it, and that not only do we have to pick up after dogs but they roll around in fox shit*, he agreed that maybe cats weren’t so bad after all. Although he wasn’t able to explain exactly who these soothing cats were, and where I might find them. I think there might have been a sighting of one somewhere in 2018 but … does anyone know for sure?
*When Catorze’s sparring partner Oscar the dog was around, Dog Mamma would tell us the most awful fox shit stories. If you don’t know about dogs and the things they get up to with fox shit, you have dodged a bullet.
When CDF arrived, after considering whether to be aloof or obsequious, Louis Catorze eventually settled for, erm, full-on aggressive. For twenty minutes there was purring, headbutting and rolling so intense and relentless that I occasionally wondered if I should intervene (but I didn’t bother because it was funny). Then the little sod spotted movement in the area under the bird feeder, and went to assume the position for Rodent Duty.
He then spent the rest of the evening out at The Front, popping in occasionally through the open window to put his front paws on CDF’s legs and scream in his face. CDF would stroke him and say, “What do you want?” Mon gars, it’s been nine years and we still don’t know.
Overall, I think Catorze had it right in terms of the balance of “I’m going to annoy the merde out of you” and “Whatever, couldn’t give a merde”, whilst also ensuring that he didn’t miss out on man-love. Bien joué, Le Roi.
Whilst on their second bottle of wine (although the first was a magnum so, really, it was their third), the gentlemen mooted the idea of creating a Dark Web version of Le Blog, run by Cat Daddy. The following topics were mentioned for publication:
1. “What I REALLY think” (I can’t say I like the sound of this, whatever it might mean).
2. “Click here if you want any of Catorze’s leftover Gabapentin” (the fact that CDF wanted to take up this offer should, in itself, be a worry).
How do you feel about the idea of Le Dark Blog? Can you think of any material that you would like to see? Or do you think it’s an absolutely terrible idea which should never see the light of day?
louiscatorze.com 
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