louiscatorze.com

Je crie, donc je suis

recent posts

about

Sa Majesté Louis Catorze, Le Roi Soleil, supreme ruler of Le Château, sworn enemy of canine foe and scourge of Ocado delivery drivers.

L’art de guérir

Have you ever had surgery? What for?

It seems I’m trying to attain the world record for the greatest number of surgeries undertaken by a human being. I have had the following, so far, in this order, with the last one only last week:

⁃ An osteotomy

⁃ A disc fusion

⁃ A myomectomy

⁃ Erm, a shoulder thing (can’t remember the medical name for it)

⁃ An emergency appendectomy

⁃ A hysteroscopy, a transcervical resection of fibroid and an endometrial biopsy (all three together)

Perhaps Louis Catorze has inherited his sickly constitution from me? That said, given that he’s had so many medical treatments himself, it’s strange that he should have zero empathy for people who are sick or convalescing. If I sneeze, and he happens to be on my lap, he scowls contemptuously and runs off, doing the bird-chatter noise as he goes. And he seems to save up his worst behaviour for when I’m recovering from something, as this and this will demonstrate.

Anyway, the most recent three-in-one extravaganza was, in actual fact, quite short and straightforward, so I was home the same morning. Surprisingly, Catorze could not have been more affectionate. And his fur was super-soft, the way it always is when he’s been in the care of a chat-sitteur before turning to merde again when we resume duties, so it was wonderfully therapeutic for me to be able to relax on the sofa, stroking and cuddling him.

All good, non?

Well … NON.

Since I didn’t have my wits fully about me as I recovered from the general anaesthetic, I forgot that Catorze is just like a toddler: a too-long sleep and insufficient tiring-out during the day mean torment after dark.

After sleeping on my lap all day, he went absolutely berserk that night. And the fact that there was a storm outside not only unlocked an extra level of psycho in him, but also meant that he was constantly rolling his cold, wet body onto us, then going back out to re-wet so that he could do it again. And again. AND AGAIN.

The next morning, he was perfectly dry and back to being sweet again. As long as I live, I shall never understand this animal.

Are you one of the chosen ones whose cats are nice to you when you’re ill? Please comment with some uplifting stories which will restore my faith in catkind.

Pretending to be cute.
Posted in

55 responses to “L’art de guérir”

  1. mary mcneil avatar
    mary mcneil

    I recently had to stay overnight in hospital after a parathyroidectomy. The three mostly outdoor kitties stayed out and one of the neighbors provided food and water. The two that stay indoors had to be boarded at the vet’s . All five seemed pretty happy to have me back, and I was pretty happy to be back. I suppose with Catorze (and with any cat, really) you have to be happy with what you can get. At least none of mine like to go out and get wet.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      I had to Google parathyroidectomy! I hope you are fully recovered now?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. mary mcneil avatar
        mary mcneil

        Yes – it’s pretty non-invasive, since they go in from the front and cut your throat. I was more worried about general anesthesia. Hope you are recovering from all your invasions too ~

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  2. Doug Thomas avatar
    Doug Thomas

    LOL! I get the wet cat treatment every time Andy gets a drink. Being a fuzzball Persian, his chin and chest get dipped in the fountain, then he comes over to me and shakes the water off.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Oh gosh, I can just imagine! Long fur and fountains maybe aren’t best friends!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Doug Thomas avatar
        Doug Thomas

        He and his late brother Dougy both made good use of water to drink. I’ve never had a problem with either not getting properly hydrated.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  3. M - avatar
    M –

    Ramses is a black kitty like Catorze. He is an ACTIVE kitty. Gemini. Also has loads to say and does!

    But he can sense when my boyfriend’s not feeling great or when I’m in a melancholy mood. I think it has a lot to do with the energy we put out. Cats are very sensitive to the energies around them.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      I definitely believe they’re sensitive, but most don’t give a shit. 🤣🤣🤣 Ramses sounds like a very loving kitty. Weirdly Catorze’s paperwork puts him as a Taurus but he has more Gemini-like traits.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. Penny avatar
    Penny

    My grandcats Cheeky and Theo always came to me (when I lived with them) when I was ill or sad or recuperating or trying to concentrate on using my sewing machine, cutting patterns out on the floor. A cough or sudden laugh would get claws dug deeply into my leg, or anywhere else their feet were, as they would jump off and run away leaving me leaking blood onto my clothes. Too much laughter and Cheeky would come back vigorously wagging her tail and give me a death stare, which I never took the hint because I would find it so funny.When I’m bored or I hear a song that I like but don’t know the words I often whistle along, now I recommend you do not do this because if dear Louis is anything like Cheeky, and I’m pretty sure they are very similar, this will bring more than a death stare, she comes running at me from wherever and has her ears flattened and jumps on me and growls and I’m sure if I ever persisted I would get my face rearranged!!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Oh, the death stare. I know it well. I received it last night because I wouldn’t let him out at The Front.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Penny avatar
    Penny

    Oh and Merlot is an absolute sweetheart, if I’m having a nightmare he will slap me in the face over and over until it wakes me up, if I so much as sniff with hayfever or a cold he looks up at me worrying that I’m crying, if I’m ill or having a duvet day he won’t leave me unattended and has to be squashed right up beside me, and he has been known to understand if I have a stiff neck and will snuggle his warm body into the side of my neck that is hurting the most. He also suffers allergies and has recently learned that if I massage his head and down between his eyes and over his nose it gives him some relief so now he will wake me several times in the night and shove his head into my hand to indicate that he wants his face rubbed!! I have got him some drops but I have to sneak up and grab his head and shove a tiny syringe in the corner of his mouth before he realises and runs for the coffee table in the corner behind my settee where he knows I cannot reach him!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      We used to have to syringe Catorze every other day, and it was awful. His foster mamma made it look easy but we always struggled. He’s so much more affectionate towards us now that he knows we aren’t going to grab him and drug him.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Penny Cooper avatar
        Penny Cooper

        Merlot forgets the moment he’s done with trying to spit it out, I hope he’ll realise at some stage that within minutes of me doing it he can breathe again but he doesn’t hold onto his anger. That’s the difference with a dog they’re so desperate to please they forgive you quickly… On a completely separate issue I keep forgetting to ask is you know that as a football supporter you can now get a hefty fine and chucked out of the ground if you say or make noises or do at the players that remind them of their past misdemeanor?? I think that’s what I heard on sports news weeks ago.,I could be wrong but wanted to make sure you knew?? I would struggle to abide by this, someone has to speak up for the poor cat. Xxx

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          Noooo, really? So any cat-related Kurt Zouma jibes are a no-go?

          Like

          Reply
          1. Penny Cooper avatar
            Penny Cooper

            I believe so! Wow you didn’t know, good job I remembered to tell you! I think it was a fine of £1,000 & ejection from the ground, I will try to find the details for you xxx

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
            1. iamthesunking avatar
              iamthesunking

              From what I can find online it’s only chants about death and tragedies that they’re clamping down on, but maybe I’ve not happened upon the right site yet?

              Like

            2. Penny Cooper avatar
              Penny Cooper

              That’s all I can find, it would be easy for me to have half heard and misunderstood so I hope so, he deserves to be reminded of his cruelty, the poor cat can’t answer for itself so it needs to be spoken for! Xxx

              Liked by 1 person

            3. iamthesunking avatar
              iamthesunking

              We aren’t playing West Ham until November. But I doubt if we will forget. Brentford fans are more than capable of digging up age-old grievances and using them against opposing players!

              Like

            4. Penny Cooper avatar
              Penny Cooper

              Good!! 😻

              Liked by 1 person

            5. Penny Cooper avatar
              Penny Cooper

              I don’t watch football very often, my neighbours are probably greatful because I do get very shouty and excited, but I was horrified not so long ago when Liverpool were being taunted about the great tragedy of mismanagement of the crowd at Hillsborough. I simply could not believe it. Where do people get such totally abhorrent ideas? I can’t believe how anyone could be so flipping dumb, the world is going nuts!

              Liked by 1 person

  6. Sarah avatar
    Sarah

    Hope you feel better soon. Milou is the greatest nurse whenever I’m ill. I have a big surgery coming up in November. Will see how she’ll react then.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Ohhh, good luck for that! Please remind me of it nearer the time as I’m useless and bound to forget. I’m sure Milou will be wonderful. Not sure I’d trust Catorze to be as wonderful, but tant pis.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. Mme Chapeau avatar
    Mme Chapeau

    Rather than speak about cats, I prefer speaking about mankind.
    Last century, I had an hysterectomy. The day the latter was planned, I was explained the etymology of the word « hysterectomy » and the sexist etymology of the word « hysteria » and the male gynaecologist who was taking care of me looked very glad to make me aware of that stuff I utterly ignored.
    🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Ohh, how were you after the hysterectomy? I think that’s the next thing on the list for me.

      Like

      Reply
      1. Mme Chapeau avatar
        Mme Chapeau

        I had that surgery a long time ago and it was an abdominal hysterectomy.
        But since then, some less invasive techniques have been developed.
        Therefore, I can’t really help you.
        Take heart. If you ask him or her, your gynaecologist should be able to reassure you.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  8. alicephilippa avatar
    alicephilippa

    I’m frequently under the weather, fibromyalgia and other health issues sees to that. When I am I usually can’t move because cat(s).

    If I’m well I’ll occasionally get checked up on. I think in this case it is just to ensure that the pouch opener is still alive.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Fybromyalgia sounds horrible. I’m glad your furry psychopaths are good nursemaids through.

      Like

      Reply
  9. Herman avatar
    Herman

    Wishing you all the best and a good health, my dear friend. I’m sure Louis will take good care of you… 😉
    Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend! Jimi sends his regards!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Merci! If by “take good care” you mean “wake me at 4:30am, aggressively headbutting me for attention” then yes, he has been doing that. 🫤

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. Herman avatar
        Herman

        Well, he picked you instead of Cat Daddy to show his love. That’s a véritable honneur, ma chérie… 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply
        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          That’s because, erm, Cat Daddy isn’t here right now … 😬

          Liked by 2 people

          Reply
  10. Fat Dormouse avatar
    Fat Dormouse

    Lucky Jim is a very loving cat – when I’m working he will come to find me, leap into my arms and headbutt my chin until I pay him full attention. After a (long) while he will get into his box on my desk and sleep there.
    When I was having treatment for cancer Millie and Jasper would curl up by my legs for most of the day. Unfortunately, Jasper hasn’t really learned how to be loving and he thinks biting is an appropriate way to show affection. We think that might be why he was abandoned. We’ve learned and can mostly avoid his very strong jaws.
    And Bib…well, Bib is a law unto herself. Mostly an irascible introvert who avoids contact with other cats or people, she will suddenly turn up purring and rubbing and demanding strokes. But not very often.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Oh, I’m sorry to hear that you needed cancer treatment. I hope you have the all-clear now? 🤞

      Like

      Reply
      1. Fat Dormouse avatar
        Fat Dormouse

        It was 5 years ago now. I’m cancer free (as far as I know! 🙂 ) now

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          Yayyyy!

          Like

          Reply
  11. Sally Goodman avatar
    Sally Goodman

    I hope you’re feeling back to normal now. I’ve had quite a few operations/procedures but the worst was when I had my gall bladder out with keyhole surgery. It was only an overnight stay but man, was I sore for a week or so afterwards. I mostly just lay on the sofa and tried not to move. Our cat at the time, Otway, insisted on trying to sit on me, right where I’d had the op. I’m sure she was only trying to comfort me, but….:-D

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Oh dear! Maybe Otway got her First Aid training confused and thought you were meant to apply pressure? 😬

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. Kate Crimmins avatar
    Kate Crimmins

    If I am exhausted and take an afternoon nap I’ll have 3 (out of the 4) cats on the bed with me. I swear they are checking to make sure I’m alive so I can feed them supper.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      That’s a good point! A dead human can’t serve supper!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. Dr. CaSo avatar
    Dr. CaSo

    Haha, Rosie doesn’t like it when I sneeze either, she makes this disapproving noise every time, it’s very funny! I haven’t been really ill or sick since I got her so I don’t know how she’ll react, but Miss Penny was a sweetheart, she’d let me place my head next to her in her little bed and she’d purr gently. That was the advantage of having an old cat 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Le Roi is an old cat. What’s his excuse for being such a massive salaud? 😳

      Like

      Reply
      1. Dr. CaSo avatar
        Dr. CaSo

        OK, then Miss Penny was ancient, 19 years old!

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  14. sevencatsandcounting avatar
    sevencatsandcounting

    My cats are very good at looking after me when I’m ill. I find their purrs most therapeutic. The Woofies try, too, but their medical knowledge is sometimes overshadowed by their sheer enthusiasm. When I’m sneezing, I guess it makes sense to lick my nose repeatedly, but it’s not the most comfortable treatment option.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      I would take enthusiasm over medical knowledge. Just … something! Anything!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. sevencatsandcounting avatar
        sevencatsandcounting

        Easy solution. Get yourself a Woofie.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. iamthesunking avatar
          iamthesunking

          Woofies don’t like Catorze. 🤣🤣🤣

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
  15. Jasmin avatar
    Jasmin

    Never give up the life wasn’t easy to all but who win in the battle field against the death is the hero then you’re the superhero who won the death many times

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  16. Niyazi Gümüşer avatar
    Niyazi Gümüşer

    Beatiful

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  17. Marie-Luce, miaougraphe avatar
    Marie-Luce, miaougraphe

    My Clement was the best nurse, even more cuddly than usual when I was sick. He would install himself close to me, even sometimes on me to comfort me, and stay there for hours.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Aww! What a marvellous cat!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  18. cat9984 avatar
    cat9984

    I had a cat, Critter, who knew when I was sick and wouldn’t leave my side. She was the same way with my son. Snoops and Kommando don’t have the gift. Sgt Stripes is a lot better.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Critter is an excellent cat name!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  19. Aspasía S. Bissas avatar
    Aspasía S. Bissas

    One of my cats is a lap cat. He has full-on sneezed right in my face with zero remorse. But if he’s on my lap and I dare sneeze (into my arm, and as quietly as possible)? Apparently that is nothing less than heinous disrespect.

    I hope you’re all healed now, and that you get a break from all these procedures. (Oh, when I’ve had surgeries, my cats have sniffed at the bandages, but otherwise treat me the same as usual.)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. iamthesunking avatar
      iamthesunking

      Ugh, your cat has sneezed into your face?

      Like

      Reply
      1. Aspasía S. Bissas avatar
        Aspasía S. Bissas

        Like I’m not even there. I expressed my disgust, but he looked pretty disinterested in my opinion. Luckily it happens rarely (but it’s also unpredictable, so you never know when it might happen).

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

Leave a reply to iamthesunking Cancel reply